Cover How does the phrase “very demure, very mindful” translate to Filipino culture?
How does the phrase “very demure, very mindful” translate to Filipino culture?
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You’ve likely heard the phrase “very demure, very mindful”, but how does it translate to Filipino culture? It means arriving on time or sending a polite heads-up if you’re running late, instead of following “Filipino time” among other cutesy tips on living life in Manila
“Very demure, very mindful” has become the catchphrase of the season, spreading like wildfire across social media platforms. And it seems like it’s off to mark its official place in pop culture after the content creator behind the phrase recently filed to trademark it with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
The phrase was made popular by TikTok content creator Jools Lebron, who was just lightheartedly describing her workday hair and makeup routine. In no time, she has inspired a movement of subtle elegance and awareness in daily life, with celebrities and fans alike using “demure”, “mindful” and “cutesy” to caption everyday moments.
But what does it mean to be demure and mindful in a country like the Philippines, where hospitality, tradition and community are at the core of daily life? Here’s a guide to being a very demure and very mindful Filipino, the Tatler way.
On social gatherings
While “Filipino time” is often a playful reference to our culture’s relaxed approach to punctuality, being truly mindful of others’ time is demure. Aim to arrive early, especially for business meetings or gatherings where punctuality shows respect. And if you happen to be running late, sending a polite message to inform others is both thoughtful and considerate.
During conversations, it's mindful to listen more than you speak, and to avoid monopolising discussions—especially when catching up with relatives who love to share their own stories. At gatherings, knowing when to quietly slip out when the night grows late is also a subtle but polite gesture.
Read more: Find out how these Filipino brands have become ingrained in our daily lives
On driving
Above Raging on the road is not so very demure and very mindful of other motorists. (Photo: Maxwell Ridgeway/Unsplash)
Raging on the road is not so very demure and very mindful of other motorists. (Photo: Maxwell Ridgeway/Unsplash)
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Driving in the Philippines can be an adventure, but it’s very demure to remain patient amidst the infamous Manila traffic. Being mindful of pedestrians and fellow drivers by yielding and signalling clearly reflects the kind of grace and courtesy that embodies demure behaviour. If you see a jeepney or tricycle struggling to merge, allowing them to pass without frustration shows that patience and kindness go hand in hand.
Read more: How our aggressive driving reflects our mental health
On coffee culture
Filipinos thrive in coffee– as manifested in the long-standing tradition of having a cutesy coffee and pastry like pan de sal for breakfast. Cafes have sprawled all over the metro, thus, ordering your morning brew is an art form.
In busy cafes with evidently long lines, it’s demure to keep your order simple during peak hours—save your intricate customisations for quieter moments. Bringing your own reusable cup is also a mindful way to join in the green movement. Don’t forget to say a warm “salamat” to your barista—a little kindness goes a long way.
Read more: Spilling the beans: The bitter truth about your daily cup of coffee
On styling
To be demure in the Philippines is to embrace the timeless and understated. Opt for local designers like Filip + Inna, who spotlights modern style with traditional Filipino craftsmanship, or shop from sustainable brands like Rags2Riches and Kultura. Show mindfulness by supporting slow fashion and choosing garments that reflect both your personality and a respect for the planet. Secondhand and vintage pieces—especially those with a nod to Filipino heritage—are also a mindful way to express your individuality while reducing waste.
Read more: Behind the Seams: Meet 8 designers redefining the Filipino fashion world
On online presence
Above Limiting your rants and personal updates to close friends on social media is very cutesy. (Photo: Robin Worrall/Unsplash)
Limiting your rants and personal updates to close friends on social media is very cutesy. (Photo: Robin Worrall/Unsplash)
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With social media oversharing, being mindful, demure and cutesy is knowing when to keep moments private. If you do post, consider limiting rants and deeply personal updates to your close friends or private circles. It’s also mindful to be selective about who you include in those circles; after all, personal connections deserve a thoughtful boundary.
On supporting local
To be demure in the Philippines also means being mindful of how and where you spend your money. Support small businesses by shopping at local markets, craft fairs, or from small online sellers. When purchasing souvenirs or gifts, opt for locally made handicrafts or Filipino delicacies that represent the region. It’s also demure to engage with vendors and artisans—learning about their products shows genuine appreciation and respect for their craft.
Read more: Culture for a cause: Some of the highlights at ArteFino Fair 2024
On honouring local customs
In a culture deeply rooted in respect and tradition, being mindful of local customs is key. Whether it’s participating in fiesta celebrations or attending a wedding, knowing the appropriate attire and behaviour reflects your thoughtfulness. And remember, in the Philippines, a small act like saying “po” and “opo” when speaking to elders goes a long way in showing respect.
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Syrah is Tatler Philippines’ Power & Purpose editor, where she spotlights extraordinary journeys shaping the Philippines and Asia. She covers business, innovation, impact, and culture—chasing the people, ideas and forces shaping how we live and think today.
