Mental Notes: Marion Caunter, Izzana Salleh, and Steve Khiew on mental health

Do you have any coping strategies when you are feeling stressed or burned out?

Honestly, one of my coping strategies, especially when it comes to work, is to turn to my best friend—my husband. Everyone who knows us knows that he is the calm to my storm. He talks me through what I’m going through and always reminds me to focus on the good rather than the bad, and it helps! I find that social media sometimes, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed, can [sometimes] make the problems even worse. So sometimes, I get off social media for a while, go to the gym or switch on Netflix to watch something completely mindless that takes my mind off my problems, and honestly, I feel great after! It’s the simple things, really.

Do you have resources you constantly refer to help you keep grounded?

Sometimes, if I’m feeling overwhelmed, there are podcasts that I turn to—Mel Robbins is one of them and Anderson Cooper has an amazing podcast about learning to deal with grief and moving on with life with gratitude. I listen to Jay Shetty a lot; he’s got beautiful words of wisdom to share. And like I said earlier, having someone to talk to, someone who only wants the best for you, is key.

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Let’s talk about social media. With its prevalence in our daily lives, does it affect our mental health, particularly with things like FOMO or having to present a perfect image? 

Social media can be very positive, I’ve learned so much, and it’s been beneficial for my businesses. But it can also be [harmful], especially if you are not strong enough, as it can bring out insecurities. Remember, many people only share the good, not the bad.

That’s why I constantly remind my kids and all the young people out there, not to be so taken by what they see on Instagram. Even for me, as a public figure, people come up to me and say, “You know, we look at your life and it’s perfect.” And I’m like, “Well, no it’s not.” I am so grateful for everything that I have, but it’s not perfect. I have my days where things are going wrong, and I’m really down. Those are the days I’m dealing with it and I’m not online sharing pictures. If you see me presenting a perfect image all the time, it’s just because I love dressing up! So when I dress up and I feel good about myself, I take a picture. It’s as simple as that.

Izzana is the co-founder and global president of Girls for Girls International, a non-profit organisation that aims to develop essential skills and groom young women for future leadership roles.

What does mental health mean to you at this stage of your life?

For me, good mental health means being able to navigate the challenges that help us grow, both professionally or personally, in a measured way and knowing when to pull back if needed. In life, we won't always be able to achieve a perfect equilibrium or balance, but knowing when to give and take is a good middle ground.

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Do you have any coping strategies when you are feeling stressed or burned out?

For coping strategies when feeling overwhelmed, stressed or burned out, I split it into three parts. First, I address it physically by grounding myself in nature. Taking walks in the park or [connecting with the earth] by taking off my shoes and standing on the grass or near the trees helps immensely. Exercising, whether at the gym or in a spinning class, also helps me sweat out the stress.

Second, I focus on the mental aspect, finding peace by moving away from sources of stress. [Recognising] these sources is a skill we hone as we get older. Sources of peace and happiness can vary—it might be alone time, being around friends and family (my nieces and nephews are a real source of joy and happiness for me), or exploring something new and different. I replace that sense of stress with something that brings me peace and happiness.

The third part is spirituality; through my religious practices, I find [solace] and peace. A combination of these three [strategies] has been very helpful for me.

Do you view mental health issues as a sign of weakness and prefer to handle them on your own, or are you likely to seek professional help?

I view mental health the same way as physical health, to be honest. We all acquire some basic, fundamental knowledge as we go along. For example, if I have a headache, I know to rest, drink more water, or perhaps take a Panadol. So, we have that basic knowledge. But sometimes, if I’m too sick physically, I seek help from someone with more knowledge—a professional. I feel that in today’s day and age, it’s prudent to view mental support in the same way. Within our capacity, we manage because that’s how we stay resilient day to day, but if it goes beyond what we can [handle], we should always seek support. I think that’s a good way to view mental health—just like physical health.

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Let’s talk about social media. With its prevalence in our daily lives, does it affect our mental health, particularly with things like FOMO or having to present a perfect image?

What you present online—and this is a very personal opinion—should be what you choose to [share]. You don’t have to share everything in your life on social media; for me, it’s a rather unnatural way to live. But I understand that people choose to do things differently. I navigate social media by doing a temperature check: Is today a day to see what everyone is doing or is it a day to shut down and focus on my work? By managing what we consume, we can reduce FOMO and the pressure to present a perfect image.

The 21-year-old national swimmer made history by taking home Malaysia’s first swimming gold medal at the 2021 SEA Games. He is currently studying computer science at UCSI University.

What does mental health mean to you at this stage of your life?

I don’t know much about mental health, but I understand why and how people act, think and do things. Each day brings emotional differences—sometimes you’re happy, and sometimes you’re sad. There are days when I have a bad day or a good day, but it doesn’t affect how I go about my daily routines. I believe keeping up with your daily routine is very important, no matter how you feel. I started swimming when I was seven, so my mom had us follow a timetable for swimming and what subjects to study each day. We would stick it up on the fridge and follow the timetable from Monday to Sunday. Even today, I have a timetable for every single day, outlining what I do and what’s planned. I prefer to plan everything as I’m a perfectionist; I want everything to go exactly as planned. So even if I weren’t a swimmer, my approach would still be the same.

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Do you have any coping strategies when you are feeling stressed or burned out?

I don’t have any strategy, but when I’m feeling very emotional, I usually do things that help calm me down, like watching videos, reading books, or playing some games. I know that if I’m feeling this way, it’s just one of those days. My swimming coach, Chris Martin, encouraged me to read, so I started reading motivational books. The first book I read was Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, which resonated with me. This book is inspiring; it addresses the nerves you feel when you go for your first international competition, and how, with experience, you become more comfortable in those situations and perform better. That’s how you overcome your fear.

Do you view mental health issues as a sign of weakness and prefer to handle them on your own, or are you likely to seek professional help?

I do experience emotional moments, but I don’t see them as a weakness but as a reflection of one’s mental strength. Everyone handles mental health differently, so I don’t judge. Personally, if I experience mental health issues, I usually deal with them alone. I went through a tough experience during the 2023 Asian Games. I qualified second in the 400m freestyle but was seeded fourth overall, missing the podium by just 0.3 seconds. It was really close and I felt very sad and disappointed. The next morning at 3am, I flew back to Malaysia and went straight into training. I had two tough weeks after the Games, but I used that time to reflect on what happened during the race. I knew that I had done everything perfectly, so in the end, there was nothing I could do except accept it. This experience taught me that mental strength is really important in sports, whether you’re an athlete, manager or anything. That’s just how sport is.

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Let’s talk about social media. With its prevalence in our daily lives, does it affect our mental health, particularly with things like FOMO or having to present a perfect image? 

FOMO doesn’t really bother me, but I’ve found that trying to make my social media look perfect can be stressful. My suggestion is to be authentic and not strive for perfection. If you’re having a bad day and feel like sharing, go ahead and post what you want. After all, social media is a platform for expressing yourself right? However, it’s also important to remember to sometimes keep things to yourself and avoid oversharing. Be cautious about what you share, as everyone can see it on social media.

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