Cover It’s okay to struggle (Photo: Noemy Zainal)
It’s okay to struggle (Photo: Noemy Zainal)
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In conjunction with World Suicide Prevention Day, Kenny Lim, executive director of Befrienders KL, talks about the warning signs and ways to seek help when it feels like hope is lost
Although a preventable cause of death, suicide remains a significant global health issue, with Malaysia recording a staggering 4,440 suicide cases from 2019 to 2023. Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dr Ahmad Zahid Hamidi explained that the nation is experiencing extreme social and economic change, propelled by factors like financial inequality, unpredictable digital progress and increased hyperconnectivity. He revealed that men accounted for over 3,600 cases and women for over 780 cases. Zahid also noted that the Malaysian Chinese community faced the highest rates since 2019, followed by non-citizens, Indians, and Malays.
According to Befrienders Kuala Lumpur, the pandemic and repeated lockdowns were a significant trigger. The non-profit organisation offers free and confidential emotional support 24 hours a day to those experiencing distress, with a surge of help-seeking calls received between 2020 and 2021. Executive director Kenny Lim notes, “Callers frequently cited financial troubles, isolation, family or relationship issues, and stress from remote work or online schooling.”
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Malaysians were heartened to reach out for help, thanks in part to an initiative by the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) in 2019, which made calls to the Befrienders helpline free from eight telcos at the time, including DiGi, Celcom, Maxis, U Mobile, Telekom Malaysia, Time, Unifi, and Yes (by YTL Communications). The free call initiative remains applicable today.
Last year, Malaysian lawmakers also passed three bills decriminalising suicide attempts. The reforms aim to shift focus towards rehabilitation for at-risk individuals, encouraging help-seeking behaviour and reducing stigma around suicide.
Despite the progress made, many barriers can hold one back from seeking or accepting help, according to Lim. “Some think that feeling suicidal or being perceived to have a mental disorder is a deep character flaw. They may fear being labelled as lazy or crazy by their peers, or suffer self-stigma [internalising shame about needing help].” In other instances, poor mental health may also manifest as physical issues, often without any medical explanation. From chronic headaches and fatigue to digestive problems, sufferers are left stumped about their declining health.
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“People tend to avoid seeking help if they lack the financial resources or knowledge on how to find it. Unsupportive families that disregard issues or discourage finding aid are another hurdle,” Lim says. He adds, “Some people may also fear being dependent on medication for the rest of their lives or fear the possible negative side-effects of medication. It is important to raise awareness that not all mental conditions require long-term treatment. One can recover from depression.”
Above When it comes to finding help, Malaysians do have options
When it comes to finding help, Malaysians do have options
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While medications used to treat mental conditions have improved over the years, Lim advises it is always helpful to be open and honest if certain prescriptions are causing discomfort. Psychiatrists often work with patients to adjust dosage or try alternative therapeutic agents to find the right balance. Medication does not have to be the first line of defence either, as psychologists can also help those in need through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Talk Therapy and other solution-focused methods.
When it comes to finding help, Malaysians do have options. “Those who can afford it may go to a private practice, with a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, a licensed counsellor or a licensed therapist. As for the public sector, one can go to a Klinik Kesihatan or any private clinic to get a referral letter, which can then be used to set up an appointment at a public hospital.” Appointments to see a professional can also be made at your local Pusat Mentari, a community mental health centre initiated by the Ministry of Health Malaysia (MOH), with numerous centres nationwide.
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A common misconception about suicide is that people who are suicidal do not show red flags. “Studies show that up to 80 per cent of those who are suicidal or who have died by suicide showed signs. That is why it is important to know what those signs are and take them seriously,” Lim says. The cry for help can come in many forms. Cognitive indications may be evident in repeated or passing self-loathing statements: “No one likes me, no one cares for me and everything is my fault.” It may be emotional, where traumatic events leave a person feeling hopeless or helpless. These feelings also worsen when isolated. Lim adds, “In men, you may see pain manifest as anger.”
Lim warns about behaviour associated with planning for a suicide that loved ones should pay attention to. “If someone is making final arrangements, saying goodbyes or seeking forgiveness, check in with them.” Other signs include changes in eating and sleeping patterns, substance abuse or dangerous behaviour, such as driving recklessly. Lim warns, “The most important risk factor is previous suicide attempts. Pay close attention to those who have made known their history.”
Family and friends can always support their struggling loved ones with a listening ear. “Be patient and allow them the time to share their views. Offer validation by accepting their struggles and pain without judgement. Don’t ridicule or challenge their suicidal thoughts, and avoid giving advice or telling them what to do next. Instead, gently encourage them to seek professional help. If you can, offer to look for accessible resources and accompany them to get help, but be sure to take care of your own mental health too if you are affected.”
The key to suicide prevention is to remind those in distress that there is hope and they are not alone. While Lim warns that suicidal thoughts may recur until the underlying cause of pain is dealt with, he reminds us there is no shame in facing difficulties. “You do not have to struggle on your own. Talk to someone you trust. If you do not want to speak to someone you know, call a helpline or seek professional help. There will always be someone out there who cares to hear your story.”
If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who is experiencing them, help is available. In Malaysia, dial +603-7627 2929 for Befrienders KL or 15555 for the Talian HEAL Helpline. You are not alone.
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Illustration: Noemy Zainal
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