The founder of Getting to Happy shares how you can change the way you look at life with the power of a single word
Many of us believe that life is a hamster wheel of having to do things. In reality, every step, every moment, is a choice. We can choose to stay in bed and not go to work. We can choose to be a victim in situations. We can also choose to think of every bad thing that has ever happened to us. In short, every action we take is a choice. A simple reminder of that can change the way we look at life.
Today, there is a lot of emphasis on teaching people to think positively. Schools have introduced ways to encourage a growth mindset. There are countless tools and resources that can aid in fostering a positive mindset. As a life coach and the founder of Getting to Happy, I speak to people on a daily basis who get mentally stuck in negative thoughts. They ruminate on the past and feel imprisoned in their lives. And while sometimes people truly are stuck, there are cases when we place the chains on ourselves.
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When we feel we have to do something, it makes the activity, whatever it may be, feel forced and difficult, like a burden. Imagine waking up and saying to yourself, “I’m so tired but I have to go to work”. Now imagine changing one simple word in the sentence and thinking, instead, “I’m so tired, but I get to go to work.”
This little tweak immediately inspires a sense of purpose and motivation. Not everyone has the ability to work; some people are unemployed and would do anything to get up each day and go to work. The way that we view the things we do, and how we free ourselves to be more grateful, can make all the difference in the world.
That applies to children just as much as adults. As a parent of a preteen and nine-year-old child, I often hear phrases like, “I can’t believe I have to do my homework.” I notice their exasperation at having to take the dog out for a walk, having to set the table for dinner, or even having to get up for school. I remind my kids that there are millions of children around the world who would love to go to school, set the table to have dinner with their families and would jump for joy to have a pet and take them for a walk.
It’s one thing to tell your children this, but it’s easier to explain to them how to change their thoughts and show their gratitude for getting—not having—to do these things. Life is full of choices. Sure, sometimes we do force our kids to do things, but eventually, with this shift in perspective, they will understand how lucky they are. They get to wake up for school, they get to sit with their families for a meal, and they get to take the dog for a walk.
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If you’re a parent, you can lead by example. To bring more gratitude into your life, try a simple exercise before sleeping every night. Begin by thinking back on your day and notice three things you are truly thankful for. It could be something delicious that you ate. It could be how blue the sky was. Or it could even be your ability to get up and go to work. By practicing gratitude, we lower the risk of depression and anxiety—and even improve our sleep quality. Say it to yourself, share it with your partner, or write it down in a journal. And you can encourage the same of your children before putting them to bed to increase well-being in their lives and teach them to always see the silver lining.