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We speak to experts about the rising interest in sex toys in Asia and the potential benefits of using them along with crystals for healing and enhanced sexual pleasure

Crystals have become increasingly popular for their purported healing properties and ability to interact with and balance your body’s energy field, also known as your chakra. A trendy social media accessory, people keep them on their desks, under their pillows, and place them on their bodies—or even in them.

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Crystal dildos, black obsidian anal plugs, and yoni eggs (egg-shaped gemstones meant to be inserted into the vagina) are among the crystal sex toys that some believe can help heal our bodies from trauma and increase sexual pleasure over time.

“Crystals have perfect molecular structures that have positive effects on our electromagnetic fields. When our energetic bodies are at ease, we are at ease, we are open to healing, to peace, to love, to all of life’s pleasures,” according to the website of Chakrubs, a registered sex toy store in the United States (US) that specialises in toys made from natural crystals.

While this sounds appealing, it's also up for debate; there isn’t much science behind crystals, and some have argued that promoting crystal sex toys as healers is reckless because, depending on how you use them, they may cause more harm than good. 

For one, gemstones tend to be semi-porous which makes them difficult to clean and can cause bacteria to remain on them. If you actually insert crystals into your body, you can “run the risk of scratching your vagina, which can also invite bacteria,” according to the Cleveland Clinic, a US-based medical news website.

A safe and non-invasive approach is to try using crystals alongside sex toys in order to encourage healing and better energy and connections. 

However, just how much good can the use of crystals in the bedroom do for individuals with sexual trauma, emotional distress and a lack of connection with a partner? To dig into the debate and better understand the potential benefits of crystals and sex toys in the bedroom, we spoke to three sexual wellness experts based in Hong Kong.

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While taboos around sex are still powerful in Asia, there has been a recent shift in attitudes and habits particularly in the last few years during the pandemic as more people start to have more time to themselves and as social media begins to put out more progressive messages. In particular, more people have started to be more open about self-exploration. 

“Sex toy brands experienced a boom over the pandemic, as more people stayed home and needed to find ways to entertain themselves,” according to Sara Tang, a Hong Kong-based certified sex coach and sexologist who hosts her own podcast, Better in Bed and provides online and offline sex coaching at Asaya Wellness at The Rosewood Hotel. “Also, I believe the younger generation, particularly Gen Z, have more sexually progressive attitudes and are more open and accepting of sex toys.”

“There are the countless health and wellness benefits that are associated with the pleasure one gets from sex toys as well. From better sleep, relief from period pain, the balancing of hormones and boosted immunity. Sex toys make your sex life more satisfying as well. They can add novelty, excitement and new sensations to a relationship,” Tang shares. 

Sex toys can also be empowering for those who are grappling with negative associations with sex, sometimes dating back to childhood. 

“If your brain has categorised sex as unsafe, scary, painful then guess what your body will do when it comes time to get intimate with someone, your body clenches, you close up physically, emotionally and energetically,” says Coco Chan, a Hong Kong-based soul coach who uses a combination of traditional coaching, talk therapy and energy healing to help her clients achieve personal and spiritual growth both on Zoom and in a studio in Sheung Wan.

So how exactly can sex toys and crystals help empower us to take back our agency when it comes to sex?

To take back your agency and get more comfortable with your body sexually, Chan encourages self-examination of all sorts.

“Ask yourself the deeper question of are these beliefs actually mine or have I embodied them as mine from my caregivers, society or culture? When you locate the root of the belief, then you can shift it and start by gently exploring with yourself first,” she explains, with reference to using sex toys during masturbation. 

“When you become more comfortable in your body, you create a new connection of safety. When you feel safe in your body and through self-pleasure, then you can take the next step to explore with a partner,” she adds. 

So how do crystals factor into the empowering nature of sex toys? A form of alternative medicine, crystals can supposedly promote the flow of good energy and rid a person of negative energy.

“Crystals are like Harry Potter’s magic wand. Not everyone has the gift of sensitivity to experience its power. But if you do, it is magical,” explained Anna Chow, an Intimate Stylist from Sally Coco, an intimate lifestyle store in Hong Kong. Intimate stylists help couples and individuals to experience confidence and pleasure in their intimate life.

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However, there is a reason why many may be more drawn towards them.

“When we integrate crystals into our lives, crystals are able to shift our personal energetic frequencies whether we’re experiencing: stress, depression, negative energies, low self-worth, holding onto trauma, etc.,” says Chan. “Over time, crystals support us in healing the emotions that are held within our bodies or clear environmental energies that are causing imbalance.”

Crystals certainly have many benefits for those who believe in their energy and powers. However, it is important to remember that they are no substitute for actual medical care or therapy when it comes to more serious sexual issues or traumas, as all the experts we spoke with emphasised.  

“Healing from trauma can be a very multi-faceted and complex experience, which involves a holistic approach to the body, mind and spirit. I understand the temptation to see crystals as a quick fix or to use them as a form of ‘spiritual bypassing’ to avoid dealing with complex emotions and deep psychological wounds,” says Tang.

“However, ultimately, it is an individual’s belief in the power of crystals that plays a role in their experience. If someone is very keen on using crystals as a tool to calm the nervous system that could be triggered by trauma, and it works for them, that’s great. But I would still encourage them to use crystals alongside other evidence-based mental health therapies for trauma, such as hypnotherapy and psychotherapy too,” shares Tang.

Tang notes that she typically sees couples who are experiencing sexual issues from a lack of compatibility or lack of communication and that these kinds of issues cannot be solved by crystals alone. 

If you are interested in pairing crystals with sex toys for healing or simply to liven things up in the bedroom, the first thing to do is figure out which crystals are best suited to you.

Then, place these crystals around the space where you are planning to get intimate to anchor different energies. Crystals can also be placed on (not in) the body. These help with sensual rituals and can open you up to your sexual energy and get you in the mood. 

“If you have a special date night coming up, you can also pick whatever crystal resonates most with your energy that day, and put it in your pocket or wear it around your neck to give you some extra good vibes,” says Tang with a smile. 

To help you get started, here are five crystals and their benefits and uses so you can make the best choice for yourself and your partner in the bedroom.

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1. Black Tourmaline

If you feel like sex is becoming rather dull and you need to reignite the flame, try Black Tourmaline. Black Tourmaline is a stone that is great for people with anxiety or low self-worth. These energies tend to keep us from fully enjoying sexual intimacy and using the energies of this stone can counter any negative energies, beliefs, or thoughts from your environment. 

It can help to ground us which will allow us to be more open to connecting deeper with our sexual wellbeing and needs. 

2. Rhodochrosite

Rhodochrosite is a crystal that is great if you are healing from trauma. Trauma can stop us from connecting intimately with others and Rhodochrosite can be a powerful emotional healer. The energies from this crystal can help us move towards forgiveness so we can come back into a space of trust, safety, warmth and kindness. 

While this crystal can be used with a partner, a good tip is to first use it on your own alongside a sex toy to get comfortable in your own pleasure first. After all, it is only when we are able to do that that we can connect deeper with our partners.

3. Rose Quartz

If you find it challenging to connect with your partner heart to heart, you may have a blocked heart chakra. Using Rose Quartz alongside a sex toy or with a partner can help you to open up your heart chakra to give and receive love easier and to encourage love and compassion. 

The energies from this crystal can help you connect deeper with your feminine energy and will allow you to feel more consciously.

4. Orange Calcite

Orange Calcite is well known for being able to unblock sexual energy due to a low sex drive and general low moods.

Using the stone can revitalise the sacral chakra back into a space of sexual magnetism and can increase your joy in life and thus, your sexual pleasure and satisfaction in the bedroom. 

5. Carnelina

Carnelina is popularly known for the way it can reawaken the energies of sensuality, creativity, inspiration, sexual pleasure and vitality. 

This semi-precious quartz stone is great if you and your partner are looking for a deeper connection. It also enhances desire, love and passion so if you feel like that has been lacking lately, this is for you.

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