Raising the next generation: How Hong Kong parents are cultivating respectful sons

Elaine Yan Ling Ng, multimedia artist and founder of Hong Kong’s The Fabrick Lab: As a single mother, widow, entrepreneur, designer and artist, raising my son Ashton has been a journey of love, patience and intentional teaching. Having grown up in the UK and worked internationally—from the UK to Beijing and now Hong Kong—I have been shaped by diverse cultural influences.

My late husband, Jackson Chow, was one of the most caring and patient people I have ever met. He inspired me with his thoughtful approach to life, shaping me into a better person. I still remember our first date—I became upset over poor restaurant service and reacted badly. Jackson gently sat me down and asked: “What will you actually achieve with this reaction? You may never return to this restaurant, but your words could affect the waiter’s career.” His perspective deeply moved me, and from that moment, I became more conscious of how I responded to situations. His wisdom continues to guide me and I strive to pass on values to Ashton.

Our shared values emphasise respect, mindfulness and thoughtful decision-making. I come from a creative background, I integrate creative interpretation with rules and guidance to blend Jackson’s wisdom with a more imaginative approach to parenting. These principles now shape how I raise Ashton, ensuring he grows into a respectful and mindful individual.

One of the core lessons I instill in Ashton is the importance of pausing before reacting. Children, especially toddlers, experience emotions intensely, and it’s natural for them to respond impulsively. However, I encourage Ashton to take a 30-second break before reacting, allowing him to process his feelings and reassess the situation.

I teach him to question, understand and analyse before becoming upset. If something feels unfair or frustrating, I encourage him to listen again, reconsider the context and ask himself: “Would I still feel this way if I had more time to think?” This helps him build emotional resilience and understand that reactions should be intentional rather than impulsive.

Another critical lesson is the power of words. I remind him that words carry weight, and once something is said, it can be difficult to take it back—even with family. Being mindful means not only thinking before speaking but also considering how his words impact others. I want him to understand that kindness and respect are lifelong habits, not just momentary actions.

Shane Osborn, chef and restaurateur: I feel actions speak louder than words.  The key to success in the hospitality industry is treating all people with kindness and respect. Gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation should never define how a person is treated. The hospitality industry is full of wonderful people from diverse backgrounds. The old adage that it takes a village to raise a child is true and the village that [my son] Oscar has been exposed to is a kaleidoscope of modern society.

Stephanie Ho Poon, arts strategist and children’s book author: As parents, we need to be role models and find ways to integrate the ideas of respect, consideration and tolerance in our daily lives. It’s not about particular values or specific lessons but a mindset that everyone is equal and that we can learn from every single person. This allows us to be humble and to see the good in others. I also try to teach our sons to be willing to accept responsibility for their actions and acknowledge when they’ve done something wrong or right, and be able to make amends. Of course, we need to guide them, but we also try to model this approach ourselves. I apologise for misunderstanding them or shouting at them but also recognise that this is an opportunity to improve and learn. 

Yuki Terase, founding partner, Art Intelligence Global: Children grow up watching their parents. I don’t do much teaching per se, as my son Rinn is a teenager so he would feel annoyed if I preached too much—but I am conscious about letting him see how I myself deal with others respectfully and mindfully. The key is to always treat him like a grown-up. There is no excuse for bad behaviour towards others because of their age. We have always lived in other countries as expats and are constantly reminded to be respectful of other cultures. Now, he studies philosophy and religion at school so he often tells me about the different sets of values or backgrounds he has learnt about, which I am very touched to see.

Marie-Christine Lee-Louey, founder of Sports for Hope foundation: My husband and I come from two of the oldest families in Hong Kong. My children were born into a prominent Hong Kong family—which means they are already very privileged. Our family,  however, is extremely humble and we have respect for people from all walks of life. Very early on, we taught our children to always give back to society. My husband and I began our charitable foundations early on in our 30s and have never spoilt our children. My main principle when bringing them up was that I always had to be 100 percent involved. I was always very hands on. I was their tutor, their mother, their mentor and their carer. I believe because of this, even now, my children are very close to my husband and I. Since my kids were in primary school, we have always had constant “family meetings”, so to speak. We know exactly what’s going on in each other’s lives. We participate in all their activities. We never miss out on anything. The most important thing is that we are setting an example as parents. We have to be their role models. We cannot tell our children to do this and that, but not do it ourselves.