Is there a time of the day that you feel most productive?

When I was younger, it was definitely morning. I was really bad at working at night. After I had kids, I kind of adapted with the times. My kids go to bed at 8pm, so it helps to be able to work once they’re asleep (you don’t feel guilty about not paying attention to them and you can concentrate on work.) So I don’t have a specific time of the day or week that I feel most productive, but I’m flexible whenever I need to make it work.

Is there something in your daily routine that you can’t do without? 

I need to see my kids everyday. I need to be able to see them, talk to them—even if it’s to ask how their day was and to make sure each one gets a kiss and a hug. I need that. I need to put them to bed at least a few times a week. So I can’t have dinner meetings where I’m out more than three nights in a row, that gets me stressed and annoyed that I’m not fulfilling my responsibilities as a mum. 

I need to exercise at least three times a week. But most important is making sure I spend time with the kids, and making sure they’ve seen me. One of my biggest fears is that my kids will prefer others to me, whether it’s our helper or their friends. That’s always something at the back of my mind.

What are your greatest support systems at work, and how do you in turn support other women?

I've always felt strongly about supporting women to help each other progress personally and professionally. At BCG we have what's known as Women at BCG—it's the setup that looks at supporting diversity in the firm, especially in helping women with their career progression while sustaining themselves through the journey. It's a group of women from across all levels in BCG who come together and help each other.

Since we’re a global organisation, we have so many great examples of women who have progressed. I had one such great role model, Datin Norazah Razali, who used to be head of BCG Malaysia. A mother of five and a successful woman who is also humble, kind and impeccably dressed, she demonstrated that it could be done. You also have men within the organisation who help you through the process, guiding you, supporting you, becoming your advocate. Sometimes, it’s the men who say, ‘You can do it. You can push this forward. You can make it’. They give you the confidence that you may not have at the time.  

Do you still struggle with a lack of confidence?

All the time! You can ask my husband (laughs). There are days when I feel like I'm a failure as a mum, as a wife, as head of the office. It happens more often than you think. But having a really good support system that picks you up–whether it’s at work or at home, my husband, my family, my colleagues–having that support system is important. It's also good to be reminded that you don't have to be amazing at everything all the time, but realise that you’ll have your good days and bad days.

See also: Why Fariza Sakina Left Corporate Life to Run a Startup That Empowers Freelancers

Do you think it’s possible to 'unplug' from work when off the clock? 

I feel like there’s no clear answer to this. You may feel like, ‘I can’t stop working, I can’t not be there’. But at the end of the day, nobody is indispensable. At the end of the day, what’s important? Your family. Family moments are important. There are times when people say to me, you need to switch off, unplug, go off, spend time with your family, and trust that your team will be there to pick up the slack while you’re gone. Building that support system and realising you're not indispensable, that’s a reality we have to accept. On the flip side, it’s true that as you get more senior, you will have more responsibilities and you’ll want to be able to deliver on them. In the digital age, it’s a lot easier to be able to deliver on these responsibilities while still being there for your family and your personal needs.

So how do you unplug from work?

To be honest, I’m always near my phone. I want to be responsive and available to my clients and my team. If I have to respond, I’ll do that relatively quickly. I try to be as adaptable and flexible to respond to the needs of people. But I also had to learn that I am not indispensable. Off days are my time with my kids. There are times when I want to be there for work matters and respond but there are also times when I sit there and look at my children and see how much fun they’re having. Then I'll be like, ‘I’m not missing this moment to respond to an email or a WhatsApp’. Then I tell myself, ‘It's ok, work can wait’.

What message would you share with young women about having a successful career without sacrificing your personal life?

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Everyone is in such a hurry to get to the top and achieve so much. When women decide to take a step back to have kids and spend time with them, it's easy to get demotivated because they see other people surpass them. I went through it, and as a result, it took me longer than others to get to where I needed to be. There were points in time when I felt down. But now I look back and realise I wouldn’t change anything. I had those moments with my four children, and I got to spend time with them. I wouldn't give any of that up.   

I think it's important to enjoy the journey itself. Don’t just rush to get there. Finding balance is important. That said, it's also realising that your whole life doesn’t have to be about family and kids. That doesn’t have to be the only part of you, and it's not wrong to feel fulfilled by other parts of your life, whether it’s work, hobbies, friends, and all. Just realising that it’s good to have a balance and have all these different aspects completes you as an individual and it gives you a sense of purpose. 

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