Cover Clinical hypnotherapist and counselling psychologist Joyce Hue shares thoughtful strategies on dealing with the holiday blues (Photo: Pexels)
Clinical hypnotherapist and counselling psychologist Joyce Hue shares thoughtful strategies on dealing with the holiday blues (Photo: Pexels)
1 / 1
Clinical hypnotherapist and counselling psychologist Joyce Hue offers compassionate strategies for managing holiday-related anxiety and depression this festive season
Celebratory seasons centred around reunions often heighten emotions, sometimes amplifying feelings of loneliness and isolation. To help navigate these challenges, clinical hypnotherapist and counselling psychologist Joyce Hue shares thoughtful strategies to rediscover joy during the festive season.
Although technology has made it easier to maintain long-distance relationships, contemporary challenges like economic hardship can create invisible barriers between family members. “Due to financial hardships, many are ashamed to go home or might not have the means to return. The shame creates a barrier between them and loved ones,” Hue explains. It is important to practice self-compassion and learn to confide in safe places as shame persists in silence and isolation. Seeking connection is even more critical in these situations.
Read more: You are not alone: Befrienders’ Kenny Lim on suicide prevention and mental health support
For families separated by distance, creativity becomes key to maintaining emotional bonds. Virtual dinners (where everyone gathers and eats their meals on a video call), online game nights and even traditional gestures reimagined for the digital age can help bridge the gap. Hue shares a personal example: “On my first Chinese New Year as a married woman, when I was outstation with my husband’s family, I hired a service to dedicate a song. This person made a call to my parents and sang their favourite song while playing the guitar.”
Sending gifts through online retail platforms to family members overseas is another way to partake in the festivities. “Pre-planning is important,” Hue says, defining it as a strategy that can help ease feeling overwhelmed ahead of busy times.
Above Technology has made it easier to maintain communication
Above Creativity remains key in maintaining social bonds
Technology has made it easier to maintain communication
1 / 2
Hue also encourages individuals to communicate and set expectations to maintain harmony. “Some people take turns to celebrate special occasions with their respective families, alternating years spent with the in-laws.” Having lunch with one family and dinner with another is another effective strategy.
See also: 5 books that promote hope amid adversity for World Mental Health Day
For those experiencing their first holiday season after losing a loved one, guilt can meld with grief. “A majority of Asians grow up with the belief that it isn’t appropriate to celebrate within a year of a loved one’s passing, but your loved ones would not want you to dwell in sorrow,” Hue says.
She suggests families should find ways to honour both grief and joy. “You may incorporate the memory of your loved ones in your day. Have a meal in their favourite restaurant, make a toast with their favourite drink or take turns sharing funny memories about them,” she advises. The key is celebrating at an ideal comfort level while acknowledging that grief doesn’t mean life stays on hold.
Hue also cautions against measuring your celebrations against movies and social media. “Cinematic portrayals can pressure some to want the nicest decorations or the grandest reunion dinners, but at the heart of most festivals is a celebration of life, family and new beginnings.”
Above Hue advises against measuring your celebrations against movies and social media
Hue advises against measuring your celebrations against movies and social media
1 / 1
For those facing holiday-related anxiety, Hue emphasises the importance of setting boundaries and being authentic to oneself. “Don’t give in to peer pressure,” she states. “You do you. If you want to snuggle at home, eat popcorn and watch a movie marathon, do it!” Communication with friends and family remains crucial, preventing problems arising due to assumptions. Defining personal needs, like a desire to spend time with one close friend over a large group, can prevent well-meaning but potentially overwhelming social situations.
Don’t miss: It’s time we learnt that menopause usually isn’t a time of poor mental health
For those without close family connections, Hue recommends taking the initiative to build a community defined by meaningful relationships. It might involve reaching out to friends or connecting with others in similar situations, especially abroad. “You might get invited to share in someone’s festive plans,” Hue says, stressing the importance of making an effort to engage others.
“You can also try community work or charity. There are so many orphanages or senior homes with lonely residents. Spending time with them will spark joy in their lives and yours,” she says. Being open to new ways of celebrating will always be a step in the right direction.
Above Defining personal needs, like a desire to spend time with one close friend over a large group, can prevent well-meaning but potentially overwhelming social situations
Defining personal needs, like a desire to spend time with one close friend over a large group, can prevent well-meaning but potentially overwhelming social situations
1 / 1
Recognising the warning signs
Holiday loneliness can sometimes develop into more serious mental health concerns, as Hue describes loneliness as a “silent killer” that can lead to depression. Warning signs include withdrawing from regular activities, a loss of appetite, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities and increased irritability. “There might also be more dependency on substances to take the pain away. We should look out for one another if the subtle signs of emotional disturbances worsen and know when to reach out for help,” she says, noting many 24-hour call centres are always in reach.
Hue’s message to those feeling alone during the holidays is validating and encouraging: “Know that your feelings are perfectly valid. It’s not easy to be lonely, but you are not alone. Reach out to someone because you may be surprised at what comes back.”
She emphasises that there’s no need to conform to stereotypical holiday celebrations. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and engage in activities that bring personal meaning and joy. The key is finding what works for you and remembering that reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. As Hue says, “Just keep going, you’ve got this!”
If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who is experiencing them, help is available. In Malaysia, dial +603-7627 2929 for Befrienders KL or 15555 for the Talian HEAL Helpline. You are not alone.
Credits
Images: Pexels
Topics
Best of Tatler Asia video highlights
Featured videos from around Tatler Asia: Get exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the interviews we do, the events we attend, the shoots we produce, and the incredibly important people who are part of our community
