Kai Lim gives entertaining tips and why she believes that ‘Home is where the heart is’

Style maven and homemaker, Kai Lim, shares with us the joys of celebrating life with friends and family over a good meal

“Be it for work or dear friends, entertaining at home is more special and personal because you are welcoming them to your space which is usually reserved for family,” says entrepreneur and mother of three, Kai Lim. “I love sharing stories and laughs with our guests!”

Along with her husband, Bryan, VP for Business Development of Suyen Corp, she enjoys having people over. In the recent years, Lim has taken a step back to really relish quality time with her loved ones. “I looked back at our fast-paced life and realised my children are only young for such a short period of time. My husband already has a very busy schedule so I try to be present for my kids as much as I can.”

Above A simple yet elegant Filipino inspired garden setting with vintage plates purchased at an auction

Lim agrees with the old adage “home is where the heart is”. For her, it’s a space of rest and warmth. “Your home is your safe and sacred space. Each corner should spark joy or a sentimental emotion.” Therefore, she takes her entertaining very seriously, because it’s an intimate peek in to her private life.

In the past, she used to have a more uptight and curated approach; today, she feels that she is much more relaxed and no longer stresses when things don’t go as planned. “A big part of entertaining is the energy you share with your guests. If you’re frazzled your guests will feel it.”

For her, everything starts with who has been invited. “It all depends on who you are hosting,” she explains. “It’s important to set a mood and lighting matters. We have different light settings at home. A darker moodier setting for friends and a brighter staging for business formal.”

Above Lim loves serving champagne to start the evening

She also has a sensory approach to creating an atmosphere and hosting a good party. “Entertaining is all about the five senses. Touch would be the linens. It’s important to use natural fibres that feel good on the skin. Taste is good food and good wine. Sight would mean for me a clean and cohesive table setting. It shouldn’t be overwhelming; you want guests to be relaxed and not overstimulated. Music and sound must also always match the vibe and lastly smell. A signature scent for the home is always memorable. Your guest will always remember that your home smelled nice!”

A past honouree for Asia’s Most Stylish, Lim is known for her effortless chic, mixing together eclectic looks from under-the-radar luxury labels and avant-garde local designers. This signature nonchalant elegance also transcends to her tablescapes. “I used to be drawn to very ornate settings and a more-is-more centrepiece, but as of late, I prefer to keep it clean. I’ve been using less flowers, as the Ikebana vase from Fritz Hansen has been a staple on our table. It creates beautiful arrangements with very minimal stems.”

Above An avid wine enthusiast, Tignanello and Cos d’Estournel are some of her favourite house pours

Much is said about a gracious host but I think being a gracious guest is more unique, it says a lot about a person.

- Kai Lim -

Japan is a constant theme in her home thanks to her heritage. “Being half Japanese, I am naturally drawn to Japanese stoneware, pottery, and art.” On her table you’ll find pieces she’s sourced from her travels as well as some acquired through auctions. “It’s very hard for me to part with my tableware as each piece is special to me.” From the 43-year-old China from her parents’ wedding and a vintage vista alegre found abroad, to gifted Imari plates adding to her growing collection and everyday Kapabashi tableware, everything holds meaning to Lim. “Each item has a story. Each item evokes a memory.”

The kitchen is where they spend most of their time with the children, although Lim admits she’s not much of a cook. “We have our go-to suppliers for catering—Kai, Florabel, and Cibo di Marghi. They also have a fantastic food order menu,” she explains. “We do have our staples at home that are always ready to be served, like grilled Hamachi with ponzu sauce. Steak must always come from the house. The best steak is the one cooked yourself.” For more casual events such as brunch, Lim shares: “Aside from our home cooked items, I order mini croissants and quiches from PAUL Boulangerie.”

Above A luxury tablescape featuring her collection of Imari plates, some of which were gifted by a friend paired with vintage silverware

She enjoys serving guests their favourite dishes or desserts and when entertaining foreign friends, a Filipino menu is a must. “This way we can explain different flavours of the country.” As for business dinners, her husband likes to have small little fondant desserts with the company logo to make things more personal. “It’s these little details that make it special.”

Lim is a wine enthusiast, a passion she shares with her husband. Over a decade ago, she and Bryan started attending tasting events with friends. “Some of us were more advanced in their knowledge, so we learnt so much from them!” Her favourite house pours are Tignanello and Cos d’Estournel. “They are such crowd favourites,” she exclaims.

Above Making her guests feel at home is of utmost importance to Lim and being a relaxed host is key

The one person in the whole world she wishes to invite for dinner is her father who passed away 12 years ago. “I remember when I was newly married, he knew I couldn’t cook,” Lim shares wistfully. “Ever so supportive, he said to me ‘you don’t have to cook all the time but you should have one speciality for the family.’ Lo and behold, during the pandemic and strict lockdowns, after so many years of being married, I finally cooked full meals for my family. And they loved it! I would have loved for him to try my cooking. Even just one dish.”

Above Lim learnt to throw a dinner party in an hours’ notice and instead of getting stressed about it, she has learnt to thrive in the situation. “It’s not meant to be perfect but just do your best and everything else will flow,” says Lim

Above Mixing textures and styles is one of her favourite ways to set a table

Her secret ingredient to a successful affair? “There is no secret!” Lim laughs. “It’s good food and good wine. Apart from this, I think making people feel at home is key. It can’t be too formal or stiff. Even simple gesture such as the host personally pouring wine to their guests, having a more laid-back approach even if it’s a formal dinner makes people feel the warmth of the host.”

Lim also adds with a smile: “Much is said about a gracious host but I think being a gracious guest is more unique, it says a lot about a person.”

NOW READ

Home tour: A Malaysian home designed like a jewel box and for entertaining

10 Ways to design a modern social kitchen that’s perfect for entertaining guests

Threads of Time: Ram Bucoy tells us how to incorporate indigenous weaves in home decor

Credits

Photography

Scott A Woodward

Florist

Ram Lopez-Vito Bucoy

Tatler Asia

‘Home is where the heart is’: Kai Lim gives entertaining tips