What’s the most triggering thing someone has said to you—and how did you address it?

“Maybe your artwork isn’t high-quality enough.”

Abstract expressionist artist Tunku Khalsom Ibrahim received this offhand comment that came from another woman relaying feedback about an art fair rejection. The words stung—not because of the rejection itself, but because of how personal an artist’s work is to them.

"Initially, it got my back up and I thought, ‘F you’,” she laughs. “In my head, I was listing all the things I had accomplished. Who was she to tell me my work wasn’t good enough?”

But after a few hours of stewing, she took a breath, accepted the reality that not everyone would appreciate her art. “Look, not everyone is going to like my work—I already know that, and it’s fine. I took it on the chin, created, and sent over some different pieces which were all accepted for the fair.” 

Her takeaway? “Not everyone will resonate with what you create, and that’s totally fine. But plenty of people will. My advice to others would be to stop, take a moment, accept what you can’t change and carry on being yourself and true to your work and your ideas.”

“What you need is a bored housewife!”

When Lisette Scheers was starting her Nala Designs, she sought business advice from a high-powered lawyer. His suggestion? Find a bored housewife to help. “It was dismissive and belittling,” she recalls. “I had reached out in a moment of vulnerability, and instead, I got condescension. I cried for hours. He didn’t take my business seriously—because I was a woman, because I was in fashion, because I didn’t fit the mould of what he considered ‘business-worthy’.”

But tears turned into fire. “That interaction only fuelled my determination. If I wanted to succeed, I would have to do it on my own." And that’s what she did, leaving these words of advice for others who may find themselves in a similar situation:

“Trust yourself. Your greatest asset is your feminine intuition. Love what you do, because without passion, the struggles will break you. Never give up. Take risks—every risk comes with a story, and every story is a lesson.”

“Oh, this is just something she’s doing for fun on the side—nothing serious. Don’t take her seriously.”

Twenty-three years ago, Wei-Ling Contemporary founder and director Lim Wei-Ling overheard these words at her own gallery’s opening night, uttered by an established figure in the art scene.

“It was quite rude, especially at my own event,” she says. “I remember thinking, ‘Wow. You, an established gallerist, are standing in my space and dismissing my work?’” Despite having no prior experience running a gallery, Lim trusted her instincts and took a chance on herself—a move that paid off. 

Instead of reacting, she took it as a challenge. “I thought, I’m just going to take this and run with it. Like, let’s see where this takes me. Twenty-three years later, here we are!” 

This story is part of Front & Female’s series She Speaks, through which we aim to drive open, inclusive and unfiltered conversations tackling the sensitive topics that impact women.

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