Cover Stephanie Zubiri then and now (Photos: Stephanie Zubiri)
Stephanie Zubiri then and now (Photos: Stephanie Zubiri)
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In a letter to her younger self, Stephanie Zubiri revisits the little girl who once sang without fear, danced without hesitation, and loved herself without question
This story is part of the Letter to My Younger Self feature for Tatler’s March 2025 issue.
Dear younger Steph,
The sleeves of my smocked dress pinched my arms as I gripped the microphone. I stared into a crowd of glamorous faces, bright smiles and flawless makeup. The high-pitched strains of The Greatest Love of All played through an old 8-track sound system. “I believe the children are our future…”
I was always obliged to sing for my parents’ guests at countless parties. At five years old, I wasn’t a great singer, but I loved performing. Whitney Houston was my idol, and her cassette was my only one. Each morning, I’d blast Wanna Dance with Somebody on my little pink stereo, dancing in front of the mirror, bursting with joy and the exhilarating freedom of childhood.
But life moved on. Fast forward 30 years, and those carefree moments faded into a blur of self-loathing.
Where did that little girl go?
She still lives inside, waiting to be rediscovered. The key is to heed the song’s lyrics: “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”
Above A young Stephanie Zubiri (Photo: Stephanie Zubiri)
Above Stephanie Zubiri now (Photo: Stephanie Zubiri)
A young Stephanie Zubiri (Photo: Stephanie Zubiri)
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Here is a roadmap to finding yourself again.
It’s okay to not try so hard. Force creates resistance. The more you push, the more things push back. Instead of gripping tightly to how you think life should be, allow it to flow. Align with your values and focus on what truly matters.
Learn to love your body. It’s the only one you have, and it will change—soften, shift, and grow stronger in unexpected ways. Every stage of your body’s journey is beautiful. Stop obsessing over imperfections and start appreciating all the incredible things it does for you. Nourish it, move it, and be grateful for it.
Be kinder to yourself. That critical voice in your head isn’t the truth; it’s just fear and old conditioning. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you offer to others. The way you talk to yourself shapes your experience—make it loving.
Related: How do you know if you’ve found ‘The One’? Stephanie Zubiri answers
Above A young Stephanie Zubiri with her parents (Photo: Stephanie Zubiri)
A young Stephanie Zubiri with her parents (Photo: Stephanie Zubiri)
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Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not meant to follow someone else’s path. Your timeline, success, and beauty are uniquely yours. The more you focus on others, the less you see the magic in yourself. Own who you are—that’s your superpower.
Choose yourself 100 per cent of the time. This choice allows you to be the best version of yourself. You owe it to the people you love and, most importantly, to yourself. Prioritising your needs cultivates a deeper relationship with yourself and authentic connections with others.
Love and light,
Steph
Stephanie is passionate about travel, food, wine and design but above all, she loves a beautifully crafted sentence with delicious words. You'll often find her indulging in life's little pleasures like enjoying a bath with a good book or playing with her kids. Follow her on IG @stephaniezubiri.
