With the complexities of each divorce case and the trauma it can cause children, why wasn't the bill to allow married couples to divorce by mutual agreement passed earlier?
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This week, a long-awaited bill that allows married couples to divorce by mutual agreement was passed in Parliament. The bill allows couples to take joint responsibility for the breakdown of their marriage and is a major step forward in helping individuals to dissolve their marriage should they need to.
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To put it simply, couples can now part ways without having to pin blame on their spouse or go through a three- to four-year separation process to prove to the courts that their marriage has broken down irretrievably.
This law is 40 years in the making considering that divorce by mutual consent was first proposed as an amendment to the Women’s Charter in 1979.
However, it was removed before it could be passed mainly because Singapore did not want to make it easy to terminate marriages.
Of course, as most people would know, divorce is never an easy option. Regardless of what laws we have, it is rarely taken lightly so this is why blameless divorces are so significant. And it is also why I believe it should have been a no-brainer to pass the bill much earlier on.
After all, it is my view that making divorces blameless will significantly reduce pain on the couple, reduce prolonged trauma on any children the couple might have and that it will allow Singapore to progress with the rest of the world with regard to how we look at the traditional family unit.
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Divorces are rarely taken lightly so why should it be assumed that this will change now?
Here’s the thing. No one enters a marriage to get divorced.
Rather, divorce is usually the last resort for many couples who have already exhausted every resource or for those who are trapped in unfavourable domestic situations.
Before this bill was passed, the only legal ground for divorce was the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. This needed to be proven in the following different ways.
For one, you could state fault-based facts such as adultery, desertion and unreasonable behaviour. If you didn’t want to place blame on your partner, you could prove that both of you have been separated for three to four years provided both parties have consented to the divorce.
However, we do know that the reasons for divorce can be very diverse and not all couples may fit into these boxes.
For example, there are couples who would prefer to part ways amicably for the sake of their children and family. They may not want to assign any blame to each other.
“For some, being able to list out the cause of the breakdown of the marriage and apportioning blame is a necessary step for their emotional and mental healing. However, having to list a factor that apportions blame such as adultery and unreasonable behaviour can also end up leaving bitterness with defendants in divorces especially after they have agreed on all matters,” explains Sudhershen Hariram, a lawyer at Tan Rajah & Cheah who has been practising family law and dealing with divorce cases for about seven years.
Then, there are individuals who are in relationships where there is emotional, physical, psychological or financial abuse. These individuals may struggle to obtain a divorce if their partner refuses to agree or if they are forced to fulfil the separation period as a result of an uncooperative partner.
They may then have to endure an additional three to four years of abuse before they are allowed to obtain a blameless divorce which can now be, possibly, avoided with the new law.
According to the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware), in 2020, a whopping 13 per cent or 905 of their helpline calls pertained to marital issues and divorce.
On January 21, 2021, the Singapore Police Force also, for the first time in history, reported that they received 5,135 reports for family violence-related offences in 2020. Of course, this does not include the many who may have had more psychological or ‘invisible’ abuse inflicted on them.
“Individuals in these kinds of toxic situations often struggle to find concrete evidence to prove the emotional torment experienced in the marriage due to manipulation and defensiveness,” says Bhavani Deva, a Clinical Psychologist at Psychology Blossom.
As a result, a blameless divorce may prove to be a saving grace for some victims who need to get out of their situations quickly.
Noting the abundance of research into why it might be difficult or even dangerous for individuals to get a divorce, it should not have taken our legal system this long to recognise the need to have the option of a blameless divorce.