Cover Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
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Being a mother is one of the most incredible roles a woman can play. Today, Bela Gupta D'Souza shares what it's like to be one
What is it like to be a mother in 2023?
Granted, not all women are keen on pursuing this path in life or even in pursuing this question. But for those who do, motherhood is one of the most important roles and responsibilities a woman can take on. It can be daunting to realise that this lifelong commitment impacts generations. But for many out there, it is incredibly fulfilling.
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Bela Gupta D'Souza an entrepreneur and mother herself, has centred her life and business on helping parents as much as she can. The founder and CEO of Edamama, Gupta D'Souza has created one of the leading Philippine platforms for both parents' and children's needs—and her philosophy on both motherhood and business stems from a single aphorism: ‘‘There's no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one.’’
“For new mothers, the tendency will be to strive for perfection: the perfect birth plan, the dream nursery, a sleep-trained baby, and so on. However, there will inevitably be gaps between reality and expectation. What’s important is that we learn to enjoy the ride, not take ourselves too seriously and never hesitate to ask for help,’’ Gupta D'Souza shares.
Above Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
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Her children, ages nine and five, prove that while motherhood for her may not be easy, the journey is still worth it. “My daughter Alena is a bright, caring and funny girl who loves to read,” Gupta D'Souza gushes. “She’s an aspiring pianist and is a doting older sister to her brother Evan, who loves family time, taekwondo, strawberry ice cream and racing his bike down steep hills.” And it's this sense of childlike wonder that Gupta D'Souza continues to nourish. “I’d like to think I parent my kids like how my mother raised me,” she shares. “I love acts of service, creating routines, listening, encouraging and making space for my children to be themselves.”
With this, Gupta D'Souza pivots into thinking about the future. Children will grow up one day, and the CEO does her best to ensure that they can express themselves even as they become teenagers and young adults. “I think it’s important for our children to appreciate the many directions they can take in their lives,” Gupta D'Souza says. “I am also very keen to raise my son and daughter with the same responsibilities at home; there’s no reason they shouldn't have matching skill sets in the boardroom or the kitchen!”
Above Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
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Naturally, the thought then turns to Gupta D'Souza's ability to balance motherhood with entrepreneurship. Every working mother contends with this challenge, but their methods vary. For the CEO of Edamama, it's all about embracing both roles and using one to empower the other. “It will always be a positive juggling act,” she shares. “While I cherish my role as a startup founder, I also believe being a parent helps me lead my organisation better.”
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It's also essential to have a reliable support system. This doesn't only mean having a reliable partner; for Gupta D'Souza, they include the privileges of having good schooling for the kids, a supportive extended family, and helpful caregivers. “It also helps to be deliberate about time management,” she adds.
Above Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
Photo: Courtesy of Bela Gupta D'Souza
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In the end, the question of, what is it like to be a mother today? can only be answered by one's self. But there is a general trend that each generation follows. Gupta D'Souza herself sees how digitalisation has become so integrated into how one parent. “We are raising digital natives, for whom socialising and entertainment are mainly online,” Gupta D'Souza notes. “The challenge for any parent in these times is to help our children find a healthy balance between virtual and real-world experiences. Grounding them in their faith and raising them with a strong set of values and life skills is also important—and you have to lead by example here.”
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