Bea Alonzo reflects on her career, life, love and learning to move on

“Before we announced it, we had been trying to work things out for months. It’s not like it happened overnight; it was a process for both of us,” she continues, underscoring the efforts she and Roque made to salvage their relationship. But despite many attempts, they could not work things out. While Alonzo reveals to Tatler that it was not her who initiated the breakup, it was a mutual decision to end the relationship. “It always takes two to tango. Sometimes relationships don’t work, and that’s fine,” Alonzo says. “I guess I also have to thank him because had he not been courageous enough actually to acknowledge that there was something wrong in our relationship, I may have continued to be carried away by the pressures of society,” she tells Tatler. The Philippines is, after all, a pronatalist, familial society, and women of her age—she is 36—are expected to be married and have children.

Read more: Having a baby: Is the Philippines a new go-to destination for In Vitro Fertilisation in Southeast Asia?

While Alonzo reiterates that no one was to blame for their decision, she admits how painful it was that many people blamed her. She says we live in a world where women are almost always viewed as the culprit, no matter the relationship’s trajectory. “If a man cheats on you, [they say] it’s your fault because maybe there’s something wrong with you or you’re not doing enough. Or maybe you’re jealous, and that’s why he left you for another girl. 

“Even when there’s no cheating involved, and the relationship does not work, women still get criticism,” she adds, citing examples of people commenting on women being unmarriageable and unable to bear children by a certain age. “[People will say] something is wrong with you, and that’s why men leave you. It’s not always the woman’s fault. The two people in the relationship are the only ones who know the truth. In my case with Dom, we didn’t want to get married anymore. We tried to patch things up, but it did not work.” Alonzo admits she realised she could not, “continue fighting for something that’s not meant for me”.

As open as she was to discussing this sensitive issue during the conversation with Tatler, Alonzo revealed that it took her some time to come to this emotional and psychological equilibrium. “For months, I did not check my social media. I had a sort of social media detox for a while, and that helped me a lot in coping and healing,” she says, referring to how negatively the online world can affect one’s mental health. 

“I get that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when they are already spreading fake news, that’s a different story,” Alonzo continues, emphasising that many fail to realise the profound impact of their words or posts on social media, particularly when they’re not based on facts. As clichéd as it may sound, she says, it is crucial to think before you click. “It’s easy to post on social media and spread fake news. Those people who posted will go on and live normal lives without realising the impact or the pain they’ve caused.” Meanwhile, the subject of the malicious post may suffer anxiety or depression or, for some, worse reactions. “You have to be held accountable for what you say,” she says.

Having endured multiple heartbreaks in the past, and often under the scrutiny of public attention, Alonzo admits those experiences were far from pleasant, but, she says,  these trials also compelled her to constantly remind herself of how blessed she is to have a solid support system. “I am grateful for the people around me who were there for me even in the most trying times when I became difficult to understand. My friends and family became an anchor,” she says. “I’m happy now. I feel like I know myself better now. I know what kind of noise to cancel out and what kind of advice to absorb. I think the most important thing is to know what adds value to your life, and I’m there now in that space.” 

When asked if she regrets any life decisions, she was quick to answer: “None, because those decisions made me who I am right now. Those mistakes, those hardships that I’ve gone through, made me resilient and stronger, and I was able to understand myself better now because of those challenges,” she says. 

Switching topics, Alonzo excitedly tells us the latest developments in her showbiz career. Just one day before the Tatler shoot, she came from the taping of the mystery drama Widows’ War, directed by Zig Dulay, a 2024 Gen.T honouree. Dulay is known for creating the hit series Maria Clara at Ibarra, as well as the movie Firefly, which won Best Picture at the 2024 Manila International Film Festival and the 2023 Metro Manila Film Festival. “I’ve been looking forward to working with him because I watched Maria Clara at Ibarra and I liked it. And then I saw the trailer of Firefly, which also won best picture.” 

Read more: Meet Zig Dulay, the mind behind ‘Maria Clara at Ibarra’

Alonzo’s previous roles in romance and dramas are a far cry from her character in Widows’ War, who is rather provocative. “It’s a bit dark compared to my previous roles since it’s about power and money struggle. I’ve wanted to broaden my filmography and my body of work. I wanted to tap into other genres, and finally, GMA [TV network, which she is signed to] gave me this project,” Alonzo says. She will also start filming an action drama for HBO to be directed by the award-winning Erik Matti. She also hints that she is in talks with the 12-time Palanca-Award-winning filmmaker Jun Lana for another project slated for next year. “I’m very open now to more offbeat projects that will appeal to the global market,” she says. Besides her vibrant career in showbiz, Alonzo also has a huge following online with 3.22 million subscribers on Youtube and 11.7 million followers on Instagram. 

Alonzo is also an advocate for sustainability, gender equality and child protection, supporting organisations like ECPAT, which works to stop child sexual exploitation around the world. Alonzo also launched an e-commerce business, Bash (named after her famous character, Basha, from a series of movies she made in the 2000s), a brand of organisers designed for travelling. 

Her love for travel also motivated her to get herself and her mother a Golden Visa in Spain. “They have a good healthcare system there, so I told myself, I wanted that for myself and my mother,” she explains the rationale behind getting the coveted visa. “Plus, it also made sense because we have friends there.” 

Read more: Golden Ticket: A deep dive on the golden visa programme

As we conclude the interview, we revisit the topic of love and the future. “I believe that there’s someone out there for me. The most beautiful love is the one you find in the most unexpected moments. Maybe one day, I will meet my person,” she reflects. “What I’m sure about right now is that I will not ever be pressured by society when it comes to my timeline. I have my own timeline. But I pray and I surrender everything to God. What’s meant for me, will never pass me by.” With love and faith, she believes that everything will turn out well in the end. 

Alonzo entered the entertainment industry at 13 with dreams of becoming a star and, most importantly, providing for her family as the breadwinner. She achieved both of these goals through hard work and dedication. Having worked in the industry for 24 years, she can speak with some authority on the idea that quality output keeps you relevant. “Let your work speak for you. Focus on your work because that will make you last longer than a picture with lots of likes or a viral video. Movies are forever.”

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