Cover (Photo: Miguel Á. Padriñán/Pexels)
(Photo: Miguel Á. Padriñán/Pexels)
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Going through a tough time? Put your headphones on and let these relatable songs comfort you
They say there are five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It doesn't matter which stage you're on; you're here because you've been through a lot and can use a little help.
Some studies, like the one from Nova Southeastern University, suggest that music has the power to mend a broken heart. It acknowledges that music of different types and genres provides assistance to people dealing with distress.
"Romantic turmoil is something that most people experience in their life. When faced with an upsetting event, such as a breakup or fight with a partner, a person may turn to music to achieve a more desirable state of mind," the researchers wrote.
"Understanding ways in which one uses music to cope when experiencing emotional distress is useful for identifying potential avenues that can lead to positive results," they added.
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In this write-up, Tatler takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions through the songs listed below:
Denial
Above INGLEWOOD - FEBRUARY 19: Prince performs live at the Fabulous Forum on February 19, 1985 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
INGLEWOOD - FEBRUARY 19: Prince performs live at the Fabulous Forum on February 19, 1985 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
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Have you been let go by a partner who promised a lifetime with you? Or did you just end things with a potential soulmate? Whichever way you broke up, there's always a pinch of denial waiting for you in the first circle of grief.
For this stage, we recommend Prince's In This Bed Eye Scream from the 1990s album Emancipation. The synth-oriented track projects the artist as a man who screams into the cosmos about the grief he feels now that a romantic relationship he invested so much into is down the drain.
Anger
Let Carrie Underwood fuel your flame. In her 2006 genre-defying song Before He Cheats, the artist revealed what happened to the last guy who screwed her up.
"I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats"
We don't advise you to do this, but listening to a song as strong and furious as this is guaranteed to empower you.
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Bargaining
Above Sky Ferreira in her new single 'Don't Forget'
Above Olivia Rodrigo 'Sour' album cover
Sky Ferreira in her new single 'Don't Forget'
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People who go through bargaining often feel that they do not deserve to be happy again. This part of grief gives them the feeling of helplessness and desperation as they struggle to accept the reality that things have gone out of their control.
The most typical lines we hear from people in this stage are as follows:
"If he or she comes back, I will never drink again."
"If only I had listened to him, this never would have happened."
"Maybe we can make it work if we spend at least a day together."
We recommend these three songs for folks who experience this type of heartache—Happier by Olivia Rodrigo, 24 Hours and Sad Dream by Sky Ferreira.
Depression
Perhaps the loneliest, most relatable lyrics written in today's pop culture are in Caroline Polachek's So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings. The song revels in the thought that parts of an old flame are ingrained within your own being, and somehow, this makes you feel worse.
"I'm out at a party, they're playin' our song
I cry on the dance floor, it's so embarrassing"
In an interview, Polachek revealed that the song is actually about maintaining long-distance relationships. "Long-distance relationships definitely have psychological calendars in them. I feel like when you go two weeks without seeing someone, it's fine, it's chill, and once you pass the third week, stuff starts getting a little weird. Is this a thing? Are we still together? Is this real? Am I wasting my time? Am I wasting their time? You start asking a lot of questions after day 21," she explained.
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Acceptance
Congratulations, you’ve just pulled yourself out of the longest stage of grief! This stage comes with so many realisations, self-love, and acceptance.
For people in this stage, we offer the bitter-sweet bop that is Angel Olsen’s Never Be Mine.
BONUS: Moving On
Above Swedish pop group Abba performing at 'The Music for UNICEF Concert: A Gift of Song' benefit concert held at the United Nations General Assembly in New York City, 9th January 1979. Left to right: Benny Andersson, Anni-Frid Lyngstad (Frida), Agnetha Fältskog and Björn Ulvaeus. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)
Swedish pop group Abba performing at 'The Music for UNICEF Concert: A Gift of Song' benefit concert held at the United Nations General Assembly in New York City, 9th January 1979. Left to right: Benny Andersson, Anni-Frid Lyngstad (Frida), Agnetha Fältskog and Björn Ulvaeus. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)
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There’s nothing more exciting than being back in the game! Gear up and be on the prowl for your next romantic adventure. For this stage, we recommend Ariana Grande’s Thank You, Next and ABBA’s Gimme Gimme Gimme!
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Jove holds a degree in Journalism and is currently pursuing graduate studies in Philosophy at the University of the Philippines–Diliman. She has flair for in-depth, interview-driven stories that explore politics and culture, shaped by her background in national broadsheets.
When she’s not on assignment, Jove spends her days painting, sipping lemonade, and walking her dog, Jupiter. She can often be seen in Escolta with a film camera in hand, browsing novelty shops in search of rare memorabilia. For leads, reach her at Jove@tatlerphilippines.com.
