Cover Parents Mariam Teh and Ewan Saufi Abas with their son Mahmud at his matriculation ceremony at the University of Tokyo (Photo: Mariam Teh)
Parents Mariam Teh and Ewan Saufi Abas with their son Mahmud at his matriculation ceremony at the University of Tokyo (Photo: Mariam Teh)
1 / 1
Settling into a new country to study isn’t easy. Here’s how these two mums helped their kids settle in faster
Two mothers, Celest Thoi and Mariam Teh, share insights on supporting their children’s transition to study abroad, in hopes of helping others navigate similar experiences with ease.
NEW ZEALAND
Going back to New Zealand to study has always been in the books for designer Celest Thoi, as both her daughters, Clarissa, 18, and Cayla, 16, were born there. She says, “Kiwis, in general, are nice and friendly, and the country is known to be safe. It made sense for us too, as we pay local rates. Also, we prefer how New Zealand ranks higher in education than Malaysia, and encourages more character building. We reckon it’s more conducive to study there. It is a better environment and I can see my elder daughter excelling there. (She didn’t enjoy studying when she was in an international school here.)
“My elder daughter left in 2022 and loves it. Her younger sister looked forward to joining her last year. Seeing her sister adapting well and making many new friends there encouraged her to want to do the same. The freedom they get there is liberating too. I think by getting a house for them which is a five-minute walk to school has helped expedite their ability to adapt to living and studying in a foreign country.”
Read more: How to choose the right boarding school for your kids
Above Clarissa and Cayla at the entrance of St Mary's College (Photo: Celest Thoi)
Above Clarissa with her schoolmates (Photo: Celest Thoi)
Clarissa and Cayla at the entrance of St Mary's College (Photo: Celest Thoi)
1 / 2
Some of Thoi’s initial concerns about sending her girls overseas focused on their independence. The girls didn’t have experience with housework and other chores back home. They also faced sudden detachment from the family and being thrust into a foreign country, with a new school and the challenge of making new friends. Yet, both daughters have thrived since arriving in New Zealand.
“They’ve made adjustments in learning to do chores, cook, and take public transport. I’m happy they’ve adapted well and made some close friends already. They felt welcomed by the school and schoolmates."
The empty nest syndrome is real, shares Thoi. When both girls left home, she would go into their room, sit on their beds and think to herself, “No one will be coming home today."
“I felt empty and lonely. I had mixed feelings and was feeling kind of anxious before they left. I told myself, ‘I can’t baby them so much. I have to throw them into the deep end so they can learn to swim.’ My husband told me the same too. He said he was grateful that his parents sent him to study in New Zealand when he was only 12.
“Now we FaceTime with each other almost every day. My husband and I will fly over as and when time allows. I believe by sending them to study abroad, they learn independence at a good age.”
See also: Boarding Abroad: Mira Rosa Marini shares her experience of TASIS boarding school in Switzerland
Above Ewan Saufi Abas and Mariam Teh visiting their son Mirza in Phuket, where he's on a football scholarship in a boarding school in Phuket
Ewan Saufi Abas and Mariam Teh visiting their son Mirza in Phuket, where he's on a football scholarship in a boarding school in Phuket
1 / 1
TOKYO, JAPAN
When Mariam Teh was young, her grandfather used to tell her a Chinese proverb that has stayed with her to this day. “It basically translates to: Rather than read 10,000 books, it’s better to travel 10,000 miles,” says Mariam. “Sending my children to study abroad is like letting them experience both reading and travelling, as mentioned in the proverb. They get quality education in established institutions and experience learning about different cultures and languages while living in different countries. I also hope that studying abroad will foster independence and resilience in them.” Both of Mariam’s sons are currently studying abroad—Mahmud Ewan, 18, in Japan, while the younger one, Mirza Ewan, 14, is in Thailand.
What was important for Mariam when it came to choosing which country her sons would go to was what her children were keen on studying and where they preferred to study. “My husband and I looked for the best choices and alternatives available for my children to further their studies. Studies are important, but the opportunities to pursue their interests, be it in sports, arts or travel, are also very important in having a fulfilling experience as a student abroad,” adds Mariam.
Don’t miss: Cherry blossom season is here: 5 popular spots to visit in Tokyo
Above Mirza warming up for the Harrow Cup football tournament
Mirza warming up for the Harrow Cup football tournament
1 / 1
In addition to safety, Mariam also considered her children’s ability to adapt to different education systems or languages, pastoral care at school, and external support such as family or friends living in the same city as them. “For my eldest son, it was his choice to study in Japan since a very young age. We allowed him to go on solo trips to visit family and friends in Japan since the age of 14 to familiarise with the culture and living environment there. As for my second son, he has been to Thailand a few times for holidays and competitions.”
Although the boys have now fully adjusted to their life abroad, Mariam shares that it was quite a time of transition for them in the beginning. “Mahmud, coming from a big family, had to adjust to the solitude of a new city and adapting to a new education system. As for Mirza, he was a little homesick and lonely. But he was okay once he started making new friends and got busy with sports training. However, he still misses Malaysian food very much.”
Mariam shares that she has seen the positive impact of having her children study abroad. “It enhances the significance of family gatherings, and we eagerly anticipate every term break when they return home. Moreover, we take pleasure in the opportunity to fly out to visit them whenever our schedules allow.”
NOW READ
British educator Sir Anthony Seldon on the benefits of holistic learning for your child
These 5 creative directors are the visionaries behind the biggest fashion houses in the world
