Cover Bianca Gonzalez Intal then and now (Photos: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
Bianca Gonzalez Intal then and now (Photos: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
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In this letter to her 22-year-old self, television host, writer, and co-founder of She Talks Asia Bianca Gonzalez Intal reflects on career, love, and the beauty of embracing life’s unfolding seasons
This story is part of the Letter to My Younger Self feature for Tatler’s March 2025 issue.
Dear younger self,
As a 22-year-old, I would have given anything to take a peek into what my life would look like at 42. Will it really all work out? Will I still be in this career I’m trying to pursue? Who would I marry—and will I be successful?
Now that I’m 42, I’m grateful that no technology or magic allowed me to see my future because that would have ruined everything. We’re not supposed to know; we’re meant to figure it out along the way.
I’ve never been afraid of ageing, or as Diane Von Furstenburg prefers to call it: living. I have always looked up to incredible women a decade ahead of me—Karen Davila, Tweetie de Leon, Angel Aquino—who have made me more excited than fearful of growing older.
Above 22-year-old Bianca Gonzalez (Photo: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
22-year-old Bianca Gonzalez (Photo: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
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Career. I was 21 when I pursued the opportunity to become a television host, and I often wondered if it was the career that was meant for me. Was I good enough? Would I make enough of a mark for this to be my career, or will I fade away after a few years? After two decades in the industry, I can confidently say that consistency beats intensity. There’s something honourable about showing up every day no matter how you feel, putting in the work and giving your best, and looking not at short-term success but the long-term game. That’s where the magic is—in the quiet moments when no one is watching, but you’re still pushing forward.
Love. I was 31 when I said yes to forever and married the love of my life. But in all honesty, as a career-driven woman, I thought I would get married in my late 30s. I was busy building my career! But God and the Universe had other plans—and thankfully, after a few gut-wrenching heartbreaks, I had met the one for me. As painful as those break-ups were, and as ridiculous the craziest things I did for “love” were, I would not have changed anything. They were all the most challenging lessons I needed to learn: who I am, what I like and don’t like, what I deserve and don’t deserve, and what love means.
More from Tatler: “How can I help my family... if I myself am drowning?”—4 career-driven mothers speak out
Above Bianca Gonzalez Intal now (Photo: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
Bianca Gonzalez Intal now (Photo: Bianca Gonzalez Intal)
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Passion. I was 27 when I became a lifestyle columnist for the Philippine Star and the editor-in-chief of Meg magazine, roles that I was privileged to have for five years. I was 31 when I wrote my first book, Paano Ba ‘To: How To Survive Growing Up, which evolved into a video series, live events and podcast that releases weekly episodes—until now! I was 36 when I came on board as co-founder of She Talks Asia, a women empowerment community and advocacy agency, and 37 when I first became a volunteer for UN Women—posts I hold today. I write this not to brag but to share that two of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt are that life is lived in seasons, and we should honour the different seasons we’re in, and two, only we can define what success means for us. While it is tempting to imagine my life when I’m 62, I’d rather not because life isn’t what happens to us; it’s how we live it.
I don’t have everything figured out, but when I catch myself asking, “Why isn’t this happening for me?” at least now I know the answer: it simply isn’t the right time.
With gratitude,
Bianca
