Eva Celia on finding her own way and embracing the unknown

Eva’s creative life already spans through music, cinema, and literature. Being an actress and singer-songwriter, she has also created an intimate book club called Totally Booked with Eva. Her screen credits include last year’s Abadi Nan Jaya (The Elixir) and Andai Ibu Tidak Menikah dengan Ayah. Meanwhile, there is Laut Bercerita, and the Indonesian adaptation of Descendants of the Sun are among the films still to come.

“Maybe before, I did a lot of things because I wanted to prove something,” she reflected. “But now, I just want to feel comfortable.” That shift has come with a stronger sense of agency. In her thirties, she has become less preoccupied with how her decisions might be received and more certain about making them for herself.

“I think one of the beautiful things about being a woman in your thirties is that you accept your agency,” she explained. “Maybe before, you thought a lot about what other people would say. Now, I feel more confident and certain about my own decisions.”

Not knowing, then, is no longer something that needs to be fixed immediately. Some questions simply remain open, waiting for experience to give them shape. It is an outlook that feels particularly relevant in a time when progress is often measured against increasingly visible timelines. Careers, relationships, homes, and personal milestones can easily begin to resemble a checklist. Eva is learning to be comfortable leaving some of those boxes unchecked.

One of the biggest changes in Eva’s life over the past year is the one she can see in the mirror: she has grown stronger.

“I’m more muscular,” she said proudly when asked what has changed the most about her.

However, the physical transformation is only part of the story. Going to the gym has changed the rhythm of her days and, more importantly, the way she thinks about being disciplined. Once someone who stayed up late playing video games, now she wakes up at six in the morning, spends time reading and journalling, and trains five to six times a week for up to two hours at a time.

“It has changed me mentally and emotionally as well,” she explained. “Going to the gym made me realise that there’s nothing instant in life. You have to work for it. You have to show up for yourself. You have to be disciplined.”

She has carried that understanding into the rest of her creative life. “I feel like I can apply that to my work as well, both in music and in movies,” Eva continued. “You realise that what you achieve doesn’t happen instantly. It takes patience.”

What matters most to her, however, is what happens on the days when motivation is nowhere to be found.“When I don’t feel motivated but I still show up, I feel like I’m building a new relationship with myself,” she said.

In the upcoming Laut Bercerita, she plays as Ratih Anjani, a character with whom she felt an immediate connection. Both the character and herself come from the world of art, and both believe in its capacity to do more than to entertain.“We both believe that art can be a tool for resistance, to refuse to forget, and to remain critical,” Eva said. “I think that’s one of the reasons why, when I first read Laut Bercerita. I gravitated towards this character.” Playing as Anjani required Eva to understand a world beyond her own experience. She wanted to enter the character’s mind as fully as possible, taking the initiative to learn how to draw and imagining the choices Anjani might make in her creative practice.

The process also brought her closer to stories from an era in which freedom of expression came at a far greater cost. Hearing directly from activists who had lived through that period stayed with her. “Hearing their stories, sacrifices, and struggles until today was really difficult,” she recalled.

The experience gave her a deeper understanding of the history behind freedom that can easily be taken for granted. “I learned that freedom of expression and having the freedom to speak have a very long history and come with a lot of sacrifice,” she said.

There is another part of Eva’s life that she is being equally protective of: the time and space she keeps for herself. “I have this anxiety of being perceived,” she admitted. “But I love what I do. I love making music and I love acting.”

Friendships, quiet time, reading and playing with her dogs and cats are among the things that help her return to herself. “I think it’s very important for me to maintain my solitude, because my work puts me in the public eye and under so many people’s attention.”

Totally Booked with Eva feels connected to that same instinct. Conceived as a pause from the pace of everyday life, the book club creates a space for people to read, exchange ideas and spend time with stories. It also reflects Eva’s own enthusiasm for books—something she admits with the knowing smile of being someone who has just bought yet another one, despite an already growing pile at home. Reading asks for time, and asks us to sit with someone else’s thoughts. Then we enter unfamiliar worlds and occasionally leave with more questions than what we started with.

For Eva, that openness to experience has also shaped what it means to live well. Over the past few years, she said, life has shifted in many ways. At one point, she became so focused on healing that she almost forgot something essential.“I think I was too focused on healing,” she said. “Until I forgot that life is supposed to be lived and felt.” For Eva, a well-lived life is one in which we allow ourselves to experience what is happening to us.

If this is a chapter in her life, Eva has no interest in pretending that she already knows how it will end. There are still films to make, songs to write and books to read. There are also questions she has yet to answer. And for now, she is happy to keep learning.

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