The Neuro-Normal: How these women are navigating and normalising neurodiversity in Hong Kong and beyond

Even when diagnosed early, this lack of research for women can affect their treatment. Vita Henderson-Chan, founder and CEO of Hong Kong culture-tech company Star-Kin, was diagnosed with autism at age 11: “Unfortunately, there were many misunderstandings about the condition. I struggled through my teenage years—and still today—[with] receiving the correct care.” Henderson-Chan describes her struggles with another medical condition called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), a joint and connective tissue disorder overwhelmingly diagnosed more often in women than in men. The link between EDS and autism was only brought to light in the past five years, mainly thanks to the research of Dr Emily Casanova of Loyola University New Orleans. “Learning that EDS and autism were so interconnected, I began to focus on advocacy to get the work out to fellow autistic women,” says Henderson-Chan, who organises regular neurodiverse networking and mixer events in Hong Kong. “I am proud to watch our community share the information so we can receive the right care.”

Women also tend to experience and present autism and ADHD more internally and in different ways from men, explains Craddock. “This has a huge impact on women’s life experiences and mental health.”

Noelle Sinclair, founder and CEO of Hong Kong neurodiversity consulting company DiverseMinds, explains how this impact relates to the pressures created by our social environment. “There are lots of biases and challenges built within education, our communities and our work—that is the real struggle,” she says. “Me being autistic and ADHD actually doesn’t cause me any issues in and of itself. What is an issue is if I try to work in a workplace that is not aware or supportive of what it means to be autistic.”

Sinclair’s autism diagnosis at age 40 was a pivotal moment in her life. “Growing up in the eighties, I always knew that something was different,” she says. “I didn’t understand what, but I felt like I was in a bubble, looking at everybody else outside—I didn’t get how other people seem to manoeuvre [through] life.” Women such as Sinclair find themselves having to mask their differences to fit in. “I am, by nature, a very direct, literal person, with no inflection in my voice,” Sinclair says, as she transitions to her natural, unmasked voice. “Because I’m female, this can be misunderstood as me being aggressive. People accuse me of being uncaring and cold—and this follows you through your teenage years, through university and to the workplace.” Sinclair notes that her male autistic counterparts are treated differently—they don’t need to mask as much. “They’re given more leeway to be their autistic selves in their directness, their literalness and their logic. Because I am female, it is perceived much differently.” Henderson-Chan adds: “As an autistic woman, I am high masking, which means that I can act really well to overlook some of the symptoms of my autism. But to an observer, when the mask falls flat, this can make me look very aggressive, rude and moody.”

How can masking be an issue? After all, we all do it to a certain extent to present ourselves to the world, right? “Masking is simply exhausting,” explains Sarah Hendrickx. “It means that you are constantly mentally working out who and what you should be, say and do at all times around others, whilst at the same time making the right faces ... and also monitoring that all of the above is going well, even though you can’t read faces and body language very well to give you any clues.” Autistic herself, Hendrickx became a specialist at diagnosing adult autism and is the author of six books on autism and neurodiversity, including Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum. Craddock says: “It’s really important to remember that there is not one archetype of a neurodivergent woman. We should be careful about making generalisations about women’s experiences, as individual experiences differ.”

For others, like Ivy Shi, tech solutions have also been a lifesaver. “Administrative and financial tasks are always painful and a source of stress, leading to procrastination, especially during busy projects,” she explains. “I’ve found some AI tools, like Notion, to be invaluable—[it] automatically schedules my week based on my to-do list, reducing the hassle of manual scheduling.” Shi is the founder and CEO of Learnmonade, a Hong Kong-based start-up designing e-learning solutions. Though Shi was only diagnosed this year with ADHD, she has lived all her life with it. “I’ve always known I’m unique, with my own way of doing things that doesn’t always follow the rules or routines,” she says. “If there were an Olympic event for last-minute cramming, I would have been a gold medalist.”

Most importantly, learning to accept oneself is essential. “I’m not really made for academia because I don’t see or do politics or follow other people’s rules and agendas,” says Hendrickx. “Being independent in my work has meant that I can say whatever I want.” The author’s autism expertise has not only led her to train psychiatrists in the diagnosis of autism in females, but also to become a voice in the neurodiversity community globally. Shi adds: “Sometimes, I make peace with the fact that I will always take longer to find personal items, like papers and socks, and take longer to pack for the next day. I’ve learned to embrace these quirks and see them as part of my unique journey.”

This acceptance can also become a source of strength and inspiration for others. Henderson-Chan, Sinclair and Shi have shared their stories, strategies and tips with others at neurodiversity mixers they host in Hong Kong. “I used to be a more private person, pushing away a chance to get out into the world, due to my own issues,” says Henderson-Chan. “After working through some of those issues, I realised it is a necessity to use my voice to speak out and let others going through the same dark times know that things will work out if they get the right support and open up.” Explaining how she recently left a toxic relationship, she says: “We are gullible, too trusting and move too fast into things in general. So it’s really important to educate young women with neurodivergence on how to spot the signs of abuse and what to do when you see these signs.”

For everyone to learn to accept one another, regardless of the way we think, Hendrickx believes that we need “a greater willingness to appreciate that certain things bother some people a lot, even though that’s really hard to believe if it doesn’t bother you”. Delving into neurodiversity and learning about the different ways others think is humbling in the fact that—medical terms aside—it can cause us to re-evaluate how deep our societal biases are and better accept each other’s quirks. “I believe the framing of neurodiversity as a problem is ridiculous; we are just diverse—different,” says Henderson-Chan. “And the world needs different.”

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