Money and its management can contribute to tension and stress between couples. Here’s how to tackle the topic so you can communicate healthily, align expectations and make better decisions for you both
You meet. You fall in love. Then comes your happily ever after, right? Perhaps only in the movies. In truth, navigating modern relationships, especially when it comes to the topic of money, is a balancing act of many behaviours: from transparency and communication, to patience and compromise, to name a few. Money plays a larger part in our relationships than we care to admit, and can be a key contributor to divorce. So, how can we manage love and money to achieve more blissful unions? Here, we look at some of the aspects to take into account, the importance of healthy communication and some steps you can take to better navigate money matters together.
Women, money and relationships
A lot has changed since the days where financial necessity played a role in the pursuit of a relationship. Now, with more women in the workforce than ever before, women are able to achieve a measure of financial independence, if not financial equity for which the battle continues thanks to the gender pay gap and the gender investing gap.
As well as financial inequity, it’s important to note that everyone has their own preconceived notions about money that they bring to a relationship. We all come from a different place when it comes to how we think and talk about money. How was the topic of money handled when we were growing up? What healthy and unhealthy habits about money do we carry with us into our lives and relationships? We need to understand each other’s money mindsets in order to find common ground when it comes to managing money as a couple.
Developing understanding and aligning expectations
In a relationship, money is an undeniable aspect in our joint lives. And while it can be a source of joy, it can also cause tension, which is why it’s important to develop healthy communication methods to better manage money and decisions around it.
Communication and transparency are key. This starts with understanding where you each are when it comes to your finances and divulging any financial obligations. Does one of you have debt, whether it’s student loans, credit card debt or mortgages that you are still paying off? Are you supporting a family member such as an elderly parent or a sibling, and are expected to do so for the foreseeable future? It’s important to have these conversations as early as possible in your relationships.
Secondly, what are your current money habits and approaches to taking on financial risk? Are you a strict budgeter and saver or is that an area you need to improve on? Do you prefer to make your own investment decisions or would you feel more comfortable making these types of decisions jointly? What are your attitudes towards risk and losing money? Are you more conservative in your approach to managing your money, or are you able to take on more risk? These are all important questions to ask and discuss with one another.
And finally, what financial goals are you each striving for? Do you share the same life goals, whether that involves saving for a home, raising a family and/or what an ideal retirement could look like? Ask yourselves how you might combine your finances—what expenses do you share and are there other ways you intend to merge your finances? There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Keeping separate bank accounts or investment accounts are not death knells to your relationship, as long as you are coming together on major financial decisions such as your joint budget, and making communication about your financial plans a priority.