Cover Entrepreneur and mum Tjin Lee shares her notes on helping her son turn his learning challenge into a superpower
Entrepreneur and mum Tjin Lee shares her notes on helping her son turn his learning challenge into a superpower
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The mother-of-two pens opens up about how she has helped her young son turn his learning challenge into a superpower
“Stop daydreaming” is what I remember my teachers saying to me in secondary school. My report cards would come back stating that I was bright, but that I could not focus or apply myself, that I spent too much time daydreaming in class.
It would have helped to know back then that I had ADHD (attention‐deficit/hyperactivity disorder), but in those days, no one ever spoke of learning differences. Fast forward 36 years and I wish I could tell those teachers that my ability to daydream, to see the world differently, is my superpower. I never understood how much of a strength it is until my son Tyler was diagnosed with dyslexia at six, and ADHD at eight.
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Tyler was a bright, happy and inquisitive little boy. No different from any regular little boy, he loved dinosaurs, aeroplanes and robots, and singing and drawing. Except, I would get flustered and perplexed when he couldn’t identify the simplest words in storybooks. It felt like he wasn’t trying hard enough, or he wasn’t paying attention. He could name every sea creature, and identify more than 20 dinosaur species, every whale in the ocean, and all models of Boeing and Airbus planes. Yet, he just couldn’t read.
Over the next year, I watched him go from a cheerful, confident kindergartener to one filled with self‐doubt. He started to ask, “Mummy, why are all the other kids smarter than me?” It broke my heart one day when he came home from kindergarten and said: “I’m the slowest kid in class. Everyone says so.” The bullying in school started at an early age; I saw his smile fade and his self‐confidence wane.
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One day, he hand‐wrote a birthday card for his classmate in completely inverted letters. Seeing that led me to understand that my five‐year‐old son would have a different learning journey his whole life. A mother’s instinct told me that something was different about him and we decided to have him tested for learning challenges. It was not an easy decision, as I had not yet come to understand then that the tests were not about giving him a ‘label’, but about giving him the tools and understanding to help him overcome his challenges and discover his unique abilities.
I remember clearly the day the doctor said: “Your son has dyslexia”. I left KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital holding his report in one hand and his small hand in the other. I felt the weight of that unfamiliar word, ‘dyslexia’, sit heavily on my heart. Until then, I had not wanted to accept the possibility and avoided looking up the word. It was as if denial would make the challenges go away. I wanted to believe that all his early learning challenges would fade away as he grew up.
But on that day, I decided to change my mindset and to embrace his learning difference instead. Within an hour of online research, I discovered that some of the greatest creatives, inventors, entrepreneurs and world leaders past and present, including Steven Spielberg, Richard Branson, Jamie Oliver and James Dyson, are/were dyslexics. It also gave me great comfort to see our very own Lee Kuan Yew on that list of dyslexic visionaries. Mr Lee even shared how he learnt to cope with it: by reading more slowly; he said this gave him more thoroughness and understanding of what he was processing, and turned it into a strength.
That night, my disappointment turned into excitement as I wrote and drew a children’s book for Tyler, filled with cartoon characters and those visionary success stories, that explained his special way of seeing letters. I explained to him that he has a ‘learning difference’, not a disability. I’ll always remember the big smile on his little face as I read my hand‐sketched ‘book’ to him.
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Over the next year, he took classes organised by the Dyslexia Association of Singapore (DAS) that gave him renewed self‐positivity. He realised that there were other kids like him who also had difficulty reading and recognising letters, but were gifted in their own ways. This was the best thing possible for his morale, for him to understand that he wasn’t ‘stupid’ or ‘slow’, nor was he alone.
I knew it was not going to be easy for him as he progressed in primary school, that he would struggle to keep up. He would have to try harder than other kids. Above all, I worried that he would be affected by the disparaging and labelling that would come out of his falling behind. I realised that I could not change him; while his dyslexic abilities could be a gift, it would also be his burden to bear in a one size‐fits‐all education system. I also came to understand that the most precious thing I would have to protect would be his own sense of confidence and self‐belief.
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In 2018, as time came for Tyler to soon start Primary One, together with a group of like‐minded parents, I launched a ground‐up campaign called Life Beyond Grades. This was born out of our concern about the rising levels of stress, depression and youth suicide in Singapore.
The campaign involved 70 high‐profile people from all walks of life—including thought leaders, game changers, creatives, celebrities and entrepreneurs—sharing their PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examination) scores and how those figures did not define them. The campaign was groundbreaking.
We amplified it further with the support of the Ministry of Education and, most importantly, it spoke of our kids’ mental health, more inclusive learning and grades not being everything. Every child has different strengths and a different learning journey.
According to DAS, the incidence of dyslexia, a brain‐based learning difference, in Singapore is 10 per cent. It’s not a disease and it never ‘goes away’. Those who understand that they have dyslexia are simply better able to cope, find support, and gain access to tools and knowledge to help overcome their challenges.
“Dyslexia and ADHD are not your weaknesses, they’re your superpowers” are words I say to Tyler repeatedly, along with “never stop believing in yourself and you’ll be able to unlock all your strengths”. I know he has the ability to become anything he wants. So long as we both keep believing in him, and he never stops dreaming, he will be unstoppable.
