9 things every Filipina should know about her fertility—but was never told

Dr Ancheta was direct on this point: five-minute consultations are incompatible with the complexity of fertility care. Patients are often navigating significant life decisions alongside uncertainty, making time, communication and trust essential parts of the experience.

When evaluating a clinic, look beyond credentials alone. Seek out a team that listens carefully, answers questions thoughtfully and remains accessible throughout the journey. The ability to feel genuinely heard and understood can be just as important as the treatment itself.

Both Margaret Wang and Elaine Capistrano made a compelling case for understanding fertility before it becomes an urgent concern. Wang froze her eggs in her early-to-mid thirties; Capistrano did so just before her 40th birthday and later became a mother at 47.

Neither decision was driven by panic. Rather, both women saw value in learning about their options while they still had time to make them.

As women increasingly balance careers, relationships and other life priorities, fertility knowledge can become a form of empowerment in itself.

Egg freezing does not promise a particular future, but for some women, it can provide something equally valuable: the freedom to keep more possibilities open.

See also: 15 honest books on the complexities of women’s health and wellness

Lucas Bersamin’s contribution to the panel was notable for its candour. He waited for Krista to determine when she was ready to pursue IVF, rather than applying pressure or imposing a timeline of his own. For partners accompanying someone through fertility treatment, the role is one of anchor, not driver. The body undergoing treatment belongs to one person; the decision of when to proceed should, wherever possible, belong to her as well.

Krista Bersamin described the moment she sat across from Dr Ancheta for the first time as a turning point—not because anything had yet been resolved medically, but because she immediately felt heard, informed and safe. If a consultation leaves you with more questions than answers, or if you do not feel genuinely seen by your specialist, it is entirely reasonable to seek a second opinion. The right clinical relationship does not merely improve the experience of fertility treatment; for many patients, it determines whether they can sustain the journey at all.

For years, Filipino patients who sought internationally accredited reproductive medicine assumed they would need to travel to do so. That assumption, the panel argued, is no longer accurate. Through its global network of clinics across Asia and the United States, GenPrime aims to make international fertility expertise more accessible to patients closer to home. Before booking flights, it is worth establishing whether the standard of care you are looking for already exists in the Philippines.

Margaret Wang spoke openly about her own egg count. Krista and Lucas Bersamin discussed failed IUI cycles and the cumulative weight of multiple rounds of treatment. The willingness of the panel to speak in specifics, rather than generalities, was, in itself, a form of advocacy.

Fertility treatment carries an unnecessary burden of silence. Yet when people share their experiences openly—the setbacks as well as the successes—they help normalise conversations that are too often kept behind closed doors. What may seem like a personal story can become a source of reassurance, encouragement and hope for someone quietly navigating similar challenges. Sometimes, simply knowing that someone else has been there can be enough to make the next step feel possible.

Elaine Capistrano framed her decision to freeze her eggs not as a concession to anxiety, but as an act of self-determination. Krista Bersamin, reflecting on the options now available to women, put it simply: “What a time to be alive.”

Behind the remark was a broader reflection on how much has changed for women today. From egg freezing to IVF and advances in fertility care, women now have more options than ever before to navigate family planning in ways that reflect their own circumstances and priorities.

The most useful shift in perspective, both women suggested, is to view fertility care not as a last resort, but as a source of information, options and support. Approached from a position of empowerment rather than fear, it can help women make decisions with greater confidence about their future.

Our recent Tatler House Dialogue was, in many respects, a reflection of a broader shift underway in how Filipino women are approaching their reproductive health, with greater information, greater agency and with a growing willingness to ask questions, seek support and have conversations that previous generations often kept to themselves.

Fertility journeys are, by their nature, deeply personal. The physical demands are considerable; the emotional ones more so. But the experience need not be navigated alone, nor in silence. 

The options available to women today—from proactive preservation in your thirties to assisted reproduction later in life—are wider than many realise, and the outcomes, as the women on the panel attested, can be extraordinary.

What the evening ultimately affirmed was the importance of having the right support at the right time. Whether through a trusted doctor, a partner, a community or simply hearing someone else’s story, feeling supported can make even the most uncertain journey feel less overwhelming.

Fertility, it turns out, is not a subject to be whispered about. It is one worth talking about.

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