Lessons on love with Cheryl Samad and Ng Ping Ho

“One thing we established from the start of our relationship is that we don’t want to yell at each other, which we never have,” Cheryl stresses before adding, “When we are upset with each other, we take time to calm down and avoid saying things we would regret.” Being kind while tensions run high is equally important: “I have learned it doesn’t pay to ignore each other. No matter how upset, it helps to say something to help diffuse the situation. It is better than going to bed angry. We talk about our feelings often and are honest without fearing the consequences of how it might change how we feel about each other,” the mother-of-two claims.

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Ng does not believe in passion or romance as the ultimate indicator of a healthy partnership. “I don’t think you can tell yourself that you’re going to be ‘in love’ or that your partner will make your heart race for the rest of your life, that’s not going to happen. I would say the same amount of effort you put into work and raising kids needs to be put into your marriage—even when you don’t feel like it on some days,” advises the founder of Kloé Hotel.

The couple have consciously invested in laying a solid foundation. “Before we got married, we agreed to list out our expectations of each other: how we would raise the kids, spend time with our families, and all other sticky topics,” Cheryl recalls. With no room for ego, the married pair readily admit fault and sincerely apologise when it matters. “Arguments should be normal in a healthy relationship because [sensitive] matters need to be discussed at times and expectations set. You do need healthy conflict periodically to arrive at an understanding of each other,” Ng explains.

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The unspoken connection Cheryl and Ng share deepened with the arrival of their daughters, Stella and Kate. “After having children, I appreciate my time with Cheryl much more. We were married for two years before having kids, and I don’t remember appreciating our time together as much. Nowadays, just having a meal or walk with her is important, and I crave that,” Ng says. 

For Cheryl, children enriched their dynamic. “With kids, we immediately became a team. We learned to communicate better with our children around,” the actress maintains.

When it comes to connecting with family, food unites. “I remember going out for supper or dessert in my pyjamas as a child. Today, I love walking down the street with the girls to have ice cream with them. I don’t care if they’re in their pyjamas. For me, a lot of bonding revolves around meals,” Ng admits. “Other times, we watch shows with the kids. It’s all about finding little things to do together and trying to fit in as much as we can, the best that we can,” Cheryl adds. 

Her advice to keep the spark alive in any relationship is uncomplicated. “Make time for each other, and don’t forget that you started as a couple. One day, when the kids are grown and have left the house, you’re back to being together again.”

Walking the talk, Cheryl always leads in planning a couple's getaway at least twice a year. “We’ll go on short staycations to reconnect. We do simple things like go to bookshops together or café hopping, and we’ll talk for hours. Instead of a father and mother, we enjoy feeling like a couple again.”

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