The Quah siblings of Singapore’s national swim team open up on the heartaches and sacrifices behind their quest for gold

Thankfully, their mother’s dedication has brought handsome returns, with the siblings racking up countless gold medals and an impressive list of accomplishments. Ting Wen, who joined the national team at 13, was awarded the top athlete award at last year’s Southeast Asian (Sea) Games, where she collected the 60th medal of her career.

Meanwhile, Zheng Wen, whose breakout meet was when he swam his way to four national under‐14 records in 2010, has won 32 golds over seven Sea Games—making him the most bemedalled male swimmer in Singapore. He also holds the distinction of being the nation’s first male swimmer to secure an Olympics semi‐final berth.

Jing Wen, who made her first appearance for Singapore at the 2015 Sea Games, likewise sets new benchmarks, including clinching Singapore’s first gold in swimming at the 2022 Sea Games in Hanoi with a victory in the women’s 200 m butterfly finals.

The siblings’ careers as professional athletes have not been without sacrifice or emotional tumult. Each has faced personal crises arising from the demands and pressures of elite sports competition.

Zheng Wen’s struggle, for example, initially centred around the sacrifices he made as a young athlete. “I wouldn’t say I enjoyed swimming from the beginning. It’s tough when you’re young,” he says candidly. “Kids want to have fun and hang out after school, and I could never do a lot of that because of training. But I grew to enjoy swimming as I got better at it. The excitement of competing got me to stick it out.”

Inspired by his doctor father, he had applied to, and secured a spot in, the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine at the National University of Singapore (NUS) in 2015. That year, he was also granted his first National Service deferment to compete in the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, where he reached the semi‐finals in both the men’s 100 m and 200 m butterfly events, finishing 15th and 10th respectively.

By 2017, his achievements had secured him an extended deferment to train for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics, which eventually took place in 2021. He continued to defer his medical studies, choosing instead to head to the US to train, where he enrolled in the University of California, Berkeley, in 2017 and competed in the American collegiate system before graduating with a degree in molecular cell biology in 2021.

For Jing Wen, her pursuit of being the best she can be in the pool has resulted in missed celebrations with family and friends—as she once revealed in an interview with The Straits Times: “Usually, it would be Christmas or birthdays, so I’m used to such sacrifices for the sport.” Then there is that feeling of missing out on life that she struggles with.

“Swimming has always been my life and my life revolves around it. But graduating school (she completed her studies at the Texas A&M University when she was 21—ahead of her peers) and then not having anything other than swimming was definitely a very different experience,” she says. “[There’s] a general life trajectory everyone [in Singapore] kind of follows: you go to secondary school, then you go to [ junior college or a polytechnic], and then you do army or start working right after, [or you attend university and then step out into the working world], you know? But it isn’t like that for me. I feel like I’m missing out on life, on working life—even though I know that can suck. Sometimes, I feel like I should be at the next stage of life.”

The avid gymgoer and content creator adds that “thinking about my future after swimming makes me excited because it’ll be a completely new experience to not have 90 per cent of my focus and life [revolve around] the sport”.

As the eldest, Ting Wen was the first sibling to experience life as a high‐performing young athlete. While the sport taught discipline, time management and focus, these came at a cost. Upon returning from college in the US, where she had grown more independent, she faced misunderstandings with her parents. “They didn’t understand why I had changed so much or why I stood up to them a little bit more. It was like the growing pains that most experience when they’re younger. I was simply experiencing them as a young adult,” she recounts.

Ting Wen also admits to feeling isolated after returning from college. “A lot of the teammates I swam with growing up had already retired and I was feeling alone in the sport,” she shares. “I didn’t know who to turn to. I wasn’t reaching out to the right people and I didn’t have someone who had paved the way before me back then.” This lack of a support system, compounded with self‐doubt, led her to spiral. “There was a lot of self‐questioning of what I was doing with my life. My friends had started working, getting great jobs and moving up the ladder,” she says.

“Meanwhile, I was still doing the same thing I’d been doing since I was eight.” This contrast made her feel inadequate as an adult, that she was “failing at life” by continuing a childhood interest. “I didn’t have the necessary tools to dig myself out of that hole of self‐pity I was wallowing in. I broke emotionally and mentally,” she confesses.

In 2017, after seeking professional help, Ting Wen was diagnosed with clinical depression and prescribed pills for chemical imbalances. While she is no longer clinically depressed, she shares that she still does experience negative emotions, just like everyone else, especially when faced with setbacks. The difference now is that she has learnt how to cope with them.

Besides allowing herself what  she calls a “grieving period” to “feel all these negative feelings”, she realised that sharing her thoughts and feelings with others, instead of bottling things up, can help with mental health. This different approach was particularly evident in how she dealt with her heartbreak at the 2023 Asian Games, when the Singapore women’s 4 x 100 m medley relay team finished third, but was disqualified due to her premature start by 0.1 seconds during the final freestyle leg. She addressed this setback publicly, issuing an apology on Instagram.

Unfortunately, Ting Wen will not be part of Singapore’s swimming squad at the upcoming Paris Olympics, as confirmed by Singapore Aquatics (SAQ) on July 8. Although she was a member of the women’s 4x100m medley relay team that met the Olympic qualifying criteria in February, she was left out of the 22-athlete roster announced at the Team Singapore flag presentation ceremony. An appeal by SAQ to World Aquatics to allow Quah’s participation in Paris was rejected.

Speaking to Tatler Singapore on July 10 about navigating this setback, Ting Wen says: “I will take the time I need to process and reflect, and get some rest because this has all been quite the emotional rollercoaster. I know I will come out of this stronger, mostly because I am surrounded by so much love and support [from] those around me.

“I’ve also learned a long time ago that life is not smooth, to control what I can, and that I am tough enough to get through this. I will surround myself with all the good things”.

This exclusion is particularly poignant as it was meant to be the first time she would be joined by her sister, Jing Wen, whose Olympic debut is a manifestation of a lifelong dream.

“I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a kid,” Jing Wen enthuses. “Being an Olympian is every athlete’s dream and I can finally say that I’m one. I’m going to do my best for my country. It’s the greatest honour to carry the flag. It’s surreal to be going this time, especially since I’ve always wondered when it’d be my turn.”

Jing Wen shares that she appreciates the guidance from her older siblings as she prepares for her Olympic debut. “It’s nice that they’ve gone through what I’m going through. It’s like I can see into the future when I look at them. It’s one of the perks of being the youngest child,” she observes.

With the elder two siblings no longer headed for the Games, this could mark a graceful closure to the duo’s competitive swimming. “I see it as potentially being my last one,” states Ting Wen honestly. “I’m turning 32 this year. If I do another edition after this, I’ll be 36. There’s still so much that I want to do with swimming. When I think about the next chapter of my life, I don’t feel as much doubt and fear anymore. There’s still some trepidation because I know that I’ll be entering a whole new stage, but I’m also filled with excitement.”

In her statement to Tatler Singapore on July 10, Ting Wen lets on about her next steps following her omission from the Paris Olympics squad.

“I need some time away from the pool, it’s all too fresh now, but I know that I wouldn’t want to end 20 years of swimming for the country on a note like that. The eight-year-old girl in me would not be okay with that. Who knows what the future might hold? Whatever it is, I know that I will continue to push myself to grow, and to challenge myself to chase excellence every day.”

Following a similar path of introspection, Zheng Wen also ponders his future beyond competitive swimming. He reveals that “[life after swimming] is something I’ve been giving a fair bit of thought to. I do want to leave something behind. The level that my sisters and I have achieved in this sport has given us the opportunity to do something.” At the time of this interview, he was “very focused on my goal of qualifying for Paris, so I’m giving that my 100 per cent. Whatever comes next, I’ll figure it out after.”

Unfortunately, Zheng Wen will also miss out on this year’s olympics, as he failed to meet the qualifying mark of 51.67 seconds at the Singapore National Swimming Championships’ men’s 100m butterfly meet in June.

At this cover shoot—their first together for a magazine and one that heralded a unique possibility where all three could compete at the Olympics for the first and last time—the bond among the trio is evident. Dressed in evening gowns and formal attire, and posing in a makeshift pool set up by Tatler’s art team, they showcase unmistakable rapport—as well as a natural comfort and ease in the water—as they trade inside jokes between shots in a way that only closely bonded siblings can. “No one understands what we go through better than we do. That keeps us close,” shares Zheng Wen. “What we have is special and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

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