Blackberry BBM Etiquette

So what is the correct way to use your Blackberry Messenger (BBM). Case in point: when you’re off Blackberry Messenger do your friends complain you’re being unresponsive? But when on BBM, do your friends also think you’re unresponsive (in person, that is) too. In a social limbo, we ask, “What is the correct BBM etiquette?”

We established last century that speaking on the phone during a meal or a meet is out right rude, but is the act of BBM the new age equivalent? I have a friend, MT, who is the biggest Blackberry fiend I know, and over a drink, while physically being there, MT would be tapping away to his million other friends conversing with them, then occasionally have a word with me, mostly, about his ongoing BBM antics. In my head, I’m thinking my time is better spent alone.

While I’m criticising MT, I’m guilty of doing the same, and I’m sure my company reciprocates the same irritation I felt. Admittedly it is difficult, as BBM was built to replace texting, and truth be told other than the highly user-friendly e-mail system, the BBM’s fast, free and convenient function really has the world glued to the Blackberry brand.

Then comes the question of courtesy to the deliverer. Is it reasonable to make someone wait as long as “returning a phone call” in a system that is essentially instant messaging? Shouldn’t we respect the word “instant” the function takes it’s name from?

I believe if someone wanted contact with you instantly they would call, if it was a matter of life and death they will call in succession, and if they BBM, the message can wait. Just as we do with the ringing mobile, if it’s a meal, date or coffee, unless you’re expecting them in attendance, you should not be on the other line, and if push comes to shove, one could pick up and politely tell the other person, “I’m busy, I will ring you back later” (exceptions made if your grandparents, demanding boss or someone else’s life is at stake).

Looking someone in the eye is key when communicating and when you’re staring at your phone screen while delivering chat – it is rude – that is my verdict.

Taking a stern firm tone was easy, applying it is a story for another day. But taking baby steps is key. Really, we’re way too connected as it is. It is admittedly sad that I take pleasure consciously having “no phone days” just to liberate myself from my regular days of excessive phone usage. A day out to Tai Long Wan is another great option, having no reception and (willingly) stranded at sea makes for a great escape.

So I guess in today’s age, realistically there is no abandoning BBM. But when it’s a matter of real life versus phone interaction, you have to respect the rules and etiquette of what’s right in front of you.