Our Tatler community members share what fatherhood means to them

‘Fatherhood has proven to be a steep learning curve and transformative journey for me. There are a lot of things that I do now which I didn’t use to do before! I used to be a deep sleeper, but nowadays I would wake up in the middle of the night whenever my son cries or whenever my wife needs me. I’ve learnt to love and appreciate my wife more, knowing deep down that she has gone through a lot of sacrifices both physically and emotionally to be a super mom for Roman and a loving partner to me.

Being a father has also taught me to be calmer and more collected; learning to be more patient with my family members and gaining a deeper sense of appreciation for my parents. Looking back, I have gained insight into the rationale behind my parents’ strictness during my own formative years, allowing me to empathise with their perspectives and appreciate the lessons they imparted through their guidance.

Remembering when he first smiled at me, remembering when he first recognised my voice and presence. These are memories that I will hold dear to me in years to come. From the first time I changed his diapers to the first time I showered him, it’s all the ‘first times’ I had with him that I will hold dear to my heart.’

‘Fatherhood has shown me that when you have children you need to have boundless amounts of patience. From teaching my children things when they were younger and guiding them to not getting angry during their teenage years, I have grown more patient as a person. The great thing is that they actually look to you for that guidance.

I loved holiday experiences with my children and wife. One of the most memorable experiences was a holiday we took to the Ice Hotel in Sweden. Seeing the Northern lights with them for the first time was just one of the most magical memories I have. Another great holiday we took was a driving holiday around Spain where we tried different restaurants. Seeing them try new dishes was really special. Nowadays, when we get the rare opportunity to travel as a family, my wife and I take a back seat on planning and let them choose where we go and what we do. It’s so nice to see how their tastes and preferences have changed and to do the things that they enjoy. One of the great pleasures is when they look to you for guidance, when you help mould their tastes; the sense of adventure in arts and travel came from Maniza while interest in sport and food came from me.’

‘Fatherhood changed how I perceived my life as I now had the responsibility of raising a human being. With all the joy comes the responsibility of what and how you do things that influence the way your child develops. It made me more aware of how I need to present myself so that my children would hopefully learn the right things. I had to be more mature in how to handle situations which in the past may have been without regard for consequences. Overall it has been a positive change as I really value family and what it means to be together as one.

Some of the most memorable experiences take place while we are on holiday. We plan holidays to spend time together as a family as much as possible and the last holiday was truly memorable—when my daughter reminded me we had four more summer holidays before she goes to college (she was 14 years old). That really made me think about how life for her would change very quickly and that I wanted to spend as much time with my children as I could before college, jobs and growing up take over.’

‘Father’s Day is a day for celebrating the fathers in our lives. As a father of three daughters myself, I have experienced how my children have changed my life in the most wonderful ways.

Having experienced the birth of my three children firsthand, it is a moment that I will never forget. I learned to appreciate the wonders of life and I knew from that day on that my life would never be the same again. My whole life has since revolved around them and my love for my children was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Being a father has taught me patience and selflessness. Prioritising my children’s happiness and well-being over myself. My days and week are often revolving around my kids now, from helping them with their homework, preparing them for their exams or taking them for an outing. I cannot imagine my life without them. Being a father you learn the meaning of unconditional love, sacrificing anything for them without a doubt.

Perhaps some of the most memorable moments were being there to watch them take their first steps, being able to say ‘Papa’ for the first time, and watching them first learn how to swim on their own. I have been there at every stage and moment of their lives, and I want to make it a point to cherish every moment I have with my children. We have had so many wonderful memories together and even one day when I am gone, I would want my kids to have these beautiful memories edged into their hearts and minds and remember me for who I genuinely am.

My three wonderful kids have changed my life in the most beautiful ways possible. I began to realise that there is no value that can be placed on the happiness I have with my kids. While my priority in life used to be my career or work, my priorities have changed. I am forever grateful for the wonderful wife I have, and the love and joy that my kids bring to my life.’

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