Cover Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images
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Putting the class in masterclass, here’s our guide to being the perfect guest this ball season—starting with Tatler Singapore’s 40th-anniversary ball
Remember, remember, the eleventh of November. It’s not that hard to do: after all, is there another social affair on your calendar that matters as much as the Tatler Ball?
As our glitzy do makes its grand return, for our 40th anniversary no less, we must consider that times have changed. No longer can we frolic freely with no fear of illnesses. The pandemic has taught us the power of wearing masks—the medical sort, of course, not the ones you already put on for social occasions—and we have updated our skincare routines and dermatologist appointments accordingly.
Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. Even the Victorians knew how to party. Today, having a ball calls for a different sense of decorum—one that considers distance, sanitisation and, above all, the sensation that an inappropriate Instagram story will cause. To navigate a night of merrymaking with as few mishaps as possible, follow these Tatler Ball guidelines by your very own MOH, or master of hospitality.
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Don’t Network
Above No, you don’t need to wear a mask—but we expect you to put on a friendly façade.
No, you don’t need to wear a mask—but we expect you to put on a friendly façade.
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We know that Tatler stands for all things powerful and certainly attracts those very types that can move your next business plan along, but do not build your empire at the ball. At best, you’ll seem like a bore when you present your business card to a stranger on a Friday night. (It’s 2022! Ask for their Instagram handle instead.) At worst, you’ll come off as a desperate Anna Delvey copycat, but possibly with better hair.
Do Make Connections
Skip the small talk—nobody really cares that you drove up to the ball in your Porsche instead of your Rolls-Royce—and keep your circle small for the evening. We do not have a prize for Most Popular at the Tatler Ball, and we would much rather you forgo the high schooler hijinks of switching seats and instead connect with the company at your allocated table. Who knows? You could end up forming a bourgeois Breakfast Club.
Don’t Touch Each Other
Above The most important rule for partying in a pandemic? Hands off!
The most important rule for partying in a pandemic? Hands off!
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If your love language is physical touch, it’s time to learn a new one. At the Tatler Ball, keep your—hopefully sanitised—hands to yourself and skip the handshakes and hugs. Singapore’s Covid-19 statistics will be all the better for it. Instead, upon meeting, lean in towards your newfound acquaintance or old friend with your lips pursed like you usually do in your photos, and turn away from their face at the last second. You would have just performed the real-life equivalent of the superficial Instagram like: the air kiss.
Don’t Take What’s Not Yours
Above Remember to leave with only your belongings, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember to leave with only your belongings, ladies and gentlemen.
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Maybe you have become accustomed to receiving freebies during the pandemic, what with the government’s handouts of face masks and test kits. But at the Tatler Ball you are not a charity case; you are a guest. Each guest is entitled to their door gift—singular, not plural—so please dial down on your kleptomaniac tendencies and do not sneakily steal someone else’s goodies when they aren’t looking. Also out of bounds: the table decor, the champagne bottles, and your frenemy’s partner.
Do Employ Your Partner
Above Strike a pose for the best photographer at the ball: your spouse.
Strike a pose for the best photographer at the ball: your spouse.
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With a photo wall, a photo booth and photographers present, it’s safe to say that the ball will be a narcissist’s paradise. Don’t turn it into a nightmare by hounding a paid photographer to be your personal one. Instead, look to the person who already knows your most flattering angles: your spouse. Besides ensuring that they will keep their eyes on you all night, this arrangement will leave you with a full camera roll at the end of the night.
Don’t Embarrass Your Partner
Above Watch your alcohol like it’s your latest crypto investment—you don’t want to crash.
Watch your alcohol like it’s your latest crypto investment—you don’t want to crash.
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Yes, much to the grief of everyone who wasn’t invited, our guest list is as exclusive as your upcoming NFT club, but that does not mean you should drink like it’s your last Tatler Ball. We’re not asking you to be silly like your mocktail-drinking peers, but you can certainly live, laugh and love with a reasonable amount of alcohol in your system. Do it for your wife. Do it for your husband. Or do it for your morning after self, so that they may be free of the terror of remembering how you tried to hit on someone else’s wife, or spilled Dom Pérignon all over someone’s Dior bag, or blacked out on the red carpet upon the steps of the National Gallery like a performance art piece gone wrong.
Do Take Fashion Risks
Above Dress up and dazzle like it’s your last Tatler Ball. You never know...
Dress up and dazzle like it’s your last Tatler Ball. You never know...
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Too many rules for your liking? Unleash your frustrations through your sartorial choices. The Tatler Ball is the soiree to see and be seen, so don’t be a bore. Channel your inner Madonna, or David Bowie, and show up in your finest (faux) furs, your most shocking sequins, and your most stunning sparklers. Above all, remember to stick to theme—you don’t want to look like you missed the fashion memo, and become legendary for all the wrong reasons.
Credits
Images: Getty Images
Topics
Pameyla Cambe is the Assistant Digital Editor of Tatler Singapore. She handles the Fashion section of the website, where she reports on trends, the hottest fashion launches and what your favourite Asian celebrities are wearing.
