Cover We’ve got you covered if you don’t ‘get’ what it means to be demure (Photo: Getty Images)
We’ve got you covered if you don’t ‘get’ what it means to be demure (Photo: Getty Images)
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You’ve likely heard the word ‘demure’ all over social media, but what does it mean and how does one apply it in the city? For starters, that means looking up from your phones while walking, letting passengers get off from the MTR, and more
The word “demure” has the internet in a chokehold, and we can thank content creator Jools Lebron for bringing it to our attention.
She made a short video titled How to be demure and modest and respectful in the workplace, explaining how she applies subtle make-up to appear “presentable” at work and sharing her wisdom with others to “be mindful of why they hired you”.
Since then, others have taken the video audio and applied it to a number of different scenarios, from caring for their partner’s preferences when making decisions about home decor to an afternoon treat as a “thank you” to ourselves.
While some state that no one knows its definition—well, the dictionary definition is “reserved, modest and shy”—and that the term is being used incorrectly, many more are expanding the word’s definition to accommodate the notion of being a mindful and respectful person and being able to “read the room” to respond appropriately. With that in mind, we share our tips for being demure, mindful and cutesy in Hong Kong, the Tatler way.
Read more: Mindfulness made easy with these 5 YouTube channels for guided meditation
On ordering coffee
When ordering a coffee at your favourite cafe at peak hour, it’s cutesy to keep it simple and save the customised beverage for when your baristas have more time. If you’re getting it to-go, it’s also very mindful to bring your own take-away cup.
On personal styling
It’s demure to favour brands such as Alaïa, Jil Sander, Brunello Cucinelli, Khaite and AYA Alpaca because they produce timeless, well-tailored garments that are suitable to wear on almost all occasions.
It’s also “very demure, very mindful” to shop secondhand and vintage for unique pieces that suit your individual style and reduce fashion waste. Nothing says mindful as truly as embracing sustainability.
On social meal etiquette
It’s very demure to invite your friends to a weekend brunch after 11am, and meet for dinner during the week before 8pm.
When your food arrives, it’s cutesy not to delay your guests by holding an extensive photoshoot of your dishes prior to eating—you mindfully snap one for the memories and dig right in.
If the gathering is getting boozy and you don’t feel like participating, it’s demure to call it early and get a snack instead.
On social media
When getting a pet or having a baby, it’s very demure to not immediately start an Instagram account for either. Being mindful of the privacy of children online is especially cutesy.
It’s also demure to keep the 20 stories to rant about something on Instagram to Close Friends only. Also, it’s not very demure to add someone you have met only once in your entire life to your Close Friends list. Just saying!
On beauty and grooming
Most women are already very mindful of themselves by having a rigorous skincare, haircare and beauty routine, but they can be even more demure by sharing (and not gatekeeping) what works for them with friends, family and curious acquaintances.
For men, a tidy manicure and pedicure are the most demure. A close second is letting their partners and friends influence their product usage to establish a semblance of a routine.
Also opting for vegan beauty brands as and when you get the chance is mindful, not only for your skin but also for the environment.
On existing in Hong Kong
When waiting for the MTR, you stand to the left or right of the doors and wait for people to get off first. Very demure, very mindful.
It’s very demure to carry a shawl or cardigan in your bag to protect against the arctic blast of air conditioning in malls, offices and on public transport.
While walking down the street in the rain, it’s very mindful to move your umbrella out of the way to accommodate others walking around with umbrellas too.
It’s extremely demure to walk through the city without your eyes glued to your phone screen. Look up, enjoy the view, be demure, be mindful, be present.
Amalissa Hall was the style writer at Tatler Hong Kong. Primarily focused on writing digital articles, she covers news, tracks trends and interviews experts from the fashion, beauty and wellness industries, as well as entertainment spheres. Interview highlights include Formula One driver Alex Albon, award-winning costume designer Jany Temime and prolific make-up artist Lisa Eldridge.
She has also produced print stories featuring make-up artists, perfumiers and other upcoming figures discussing Asian representation on social media, sharing industry insight and trends as well as explaining new approaches to wellness in Hong Kong.
