James J Robinson’s ‘First Light’ challenges the idea of religion as a way to control people

In an artistic retelling of his relationship with religious institutions, Robinson got started on First Light in 2021 after a heartwrenching tragedy. Going back to his days in the Catholic school, the students practised the sacrament of reconciliation. With the thought of queerness being evil hammered into his head, Robinson decided to lie to the priest out of fear. His schoolmate, however, told the truth and the confession was shared with the child’s parents.

“They sent him to Catholic conversion therapy for the next five to six years. At that moment, I was shocked that I had lied to a priest. The thing that I thought I had sinned about probably saved my life,” he shares. Fast forward to 2021, Robinson burned his school blazer as a protest art piece and discovered that that schoolmate had taken his own life out of shame. Deeply saddened and angered, he began questioning his faith and got to work on First Light.

“What happened to these beautiful morals that I was taught as a child? How has this same thing been used to the point where it has ended up in the death of someone? His experience sparked my anger, which led to this story, and I needed to figure out how I wanted to tell it,” continues Robinson.

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Starring in her first leading role, Ruby Ruiz shares that her time on set was a challenge. To prepare herself as Sister Yolanda, she consulted with the Mother Superior of Saint Joseph College. “I was imagining how many sisters today are going through the same dilemma as Sister Yolanda. I wanted to be their spokesperson and portray them accurately,” says Ruiz. 

First Light is a film of milestones for Robinson and Ruiz. The two have closely worked together during production and found something greater in its controversial themes. “This movie affirmed my faith in God. I realised that my faith isn’t in question, it’s the malicious bodies and institutions that corrupt it,” share Ruiz.

“There’s a line in the film where the mother of the convent says ‘Doubt is such an important part of faith’ and I think if you’re blindly faithful to God and you’re not thinking about it, it’s not very strong. But if you constantly question how you feel, it reconnects you with God,” continues Robinson.

The topic of religion is something widely universal, no matter the belief. We’ve seen it used to justify just about anything throughout history—from the crusades in the 11th to 13th centuries to anti-LGBTQ policies of today—and First Light criticises the institution’s hold over people.

“The church’s hypocrisy is still pretty much the same and has not been solved. The film’s political undertones are interwoven and make you guess what the real score of religion is,” says Ruiz. “I was raised a very devout Catholic as a child, but I realised that there were some parts of the church that made me feel shameful and minimised my experience. At a young age, I was told that I would go to hell if I were gay… I grew up angry at the church, but I found a way to separate the church itself from the institution and focus on its kind teachings,” adds Robinson.

First Light premieres on August 10, 2025, at the Melbourne International Film Festival’s Bright Horizons Competition. While there’s no official date yet, Filipino viewers can expect a local premiere soon.

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