Social media has created a world in which everyone else's lives seem perfect—apart from ours. How do we get past the destructive feelings that creates?
Pick your poison. Whether it is the school friend who is seemingly never not on holiday, a university mate with a home out of a Nora Ephron film, an ex-colleague who can’t stop winning prestigious awards or an acquaintance with two cherub-like babies, someone on social media is going to make you doubt yourself.
We live in an age of envy. Salary envy, children envy, husband envy, body envy, fashion envy—you name it, we feel it. Jealousy has always been central to the human experience. As Aristotle observed in the fourth century BC, "Envy is pain at the sight of such good fortune," inspired by "those who have what we ought to have, or have got what we did have once." As esteemed American writer Gore Vidal put it (a bit more cyncically), “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.”
But envy in the age of social media takes on a new dimension. In the past, envy was largely imaginary. We may have known a friend was renting a house in the South of France with a beautiful lover, but we never saw the physical proof. In today’s social media-filled world, the sea, the Cypress trees, the bronzed limbs and the declarations of love are right there on your phone, making you feel bad before you’ve had your first cup of coffee.