Born and raised in Chicago to a first-generation immigrant Indian father and Filipino mother; discipline, expectations and family pressures were a second language to this young struggling American teenager.
After losing her parents to cancer at the age of 19 and having a younger brother to take care of, she thought success, achievements and money were the only way to break free from the shadow of death, disease, troubles and pressures that haunted her throughout her teens.
Distracting her own emotions, this ambitious girl worked her way through Chicago dental school, adapting to a prudish lifestyle and excelling in every field. Establishing a million-dollar business with her degree in dental cosmetic surgery at the young age of 27, she thought she had it all.
But with every step she took forward in her over-achieving life, her emotional burden only increased. With that came a string of failed relationships ending with a brutal and violent marriage and a messy divorce.
Picking herself up from the low dredges in life, she began her own journey of personal development discovering the term ‘Emotional Intelligence’ in its wake.
What started as an NGO to empower other female leaders and entrepreneurs, soon saw her rubbing shoulders with Silicon Valley’s top business executives, coaching them to recognize, manage and understand their emotions.
Today, Dr Neeta Bhushan is the founder of The Global GRIT Institute and the author of the Amazon best-seller; Emotional GRIT; where she shares her journey, and lists down the steps to mastering your emotions and achieving true success.
In this interview, Dr Neeta Bhushan shares her guidelines on keeping up with the insane corporate rat race and achieving emotional fulfillment at work.
1. Set boundaries for yourself
“Understand and know what the boundaries are for yourself and for other people. Start to empathize your actions; whether you are doing something just to put someone else down or is it something meaningful. Learn to say the appropriate ‘No’ rather than pushing yourself to a break point which will in turn affect your productivity.”
2. Stop living with the Perfection Myth
“Perfection for most people is the absolute fear of failure. As a leadership coach, I always stress on this — you don’t have to be perfect. Accept that each person is different. If you want to change, then commit yourself to learning something new rather than pressurizing yourself with the need to appear and sound perfect at all times.”
3. Don’t hesitate to ask for help
“People are often afraid to ask for help because they fear they might be thought of as incompetent. Interestingly, asking someone for help at work is a sign of endearment. It demonstrates your willingness to get better and your commitment to the job at hand. For all you know, your questions might benefit others who are struggling with the same issues.”
4. Keep away from the corporate cattiness
“Unfortunately, this one applies to women co-workers. If they come across someone slightly more efficient than they are, it becomes a natural instinct to want to pull them down. Instead, look at them as colleagues and work together in harmony because eventually it is your relationship with your colleagues that will help you move along in the corporate world of pretence and clashes.”
5. Stop being judgemental, for real
“Honestly, judging people and holding personal vendetta against someone is basically a defence mechanism you are adapting to mask your own unhappiness and insecurity. It is also easy to talk bad. This negativity breeds negativity and is the single biggest hindrance in your progress. So why get into it?”
6. Own yourself, disregard the masks
“Accept who you are, the way you are! That’s step number one to attaining a state of happiness and everyone knows that a happy mind, yields more comprehensive results. If you are going to pretend to be someone else, you will always be unsure of yourself. Dress more like you, act more like you. Get comfortable with who you are. It’s not that difficult.”
7. Claim your worth
“In today’s corporate setting approval is sometime hard to come by. Don’t let the lack of approval limit your growth. If you are feeling under-appreciated at a work setting, communicate your thoughts clearly to your seniors. Don’t fear to ask for that raise or that promotion. The worst that could happen is you might get a ‘no.’ But then again, that’s not a forever. So you have pretty much nothing to lose.”
8. Don’t be a control freak. Let go!
“We all have the need to be stable, certain, secure and safe at all times. But then again, time is not in your hands. As difficult as it sounds, we all need to learn to surrender and to give in to the situation at times. There will be the good days and the bad days and there’s nothing you can do about it. So let your hair loose, take a deep breath and enjoy the ride, wherever it takes you!”
Dr Neeta Bhushan has given several motivational talks and conducted several training sessions over the last few years. She has also worked with many prominent industry leaders to study the importance of emotional balance and leadership.
The online version of the book Emotional GRIT is available for kindle users. To shop, click here.
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